


Enemy of Love

by mb_stortroen1832



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sailors, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Crying, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Enjolras/Grantaire-centric, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Illnesses, M/M, Nightmares, Poison, Romance, Swordfighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-08 15:48:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 37,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17389232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mb_stortroen1832/pseuds/mb_stortroen1832
Summary: From the moment that Grantaire stepped aboard the Musain, the Captain of the ship, Enjolras, has been cold and distant to him.Until one night when Grantaire’s up on deck, sketching, he sees a tattoo of a heart with the name "Thierry" written across the Captain's wrist - who he learns was Enjolras' lover before he was killed in an attack on the ship three years prior. Then, after spending time with Enjolras, Grantaire finds himself falling in love with the Captain.A Captain, who fights his own attraction to Grantaire because he's still holding on to his dead lover.





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is one of my favorite Enjolras/Grantaire stories that I’ve written, so I hope that you all love it as much as I do. You are all in for a wild ride of emotion, pain, and angst.
> 
> I changed the archive tag from ‘Major Character Death’ to ‘Chose Not to Use’ because of the fact that while Thierry is an important character, I wouldn’t necessarily consider him a major character. However, that being said, there ARE character deaths in this story.
> 
> I'm also just going to give a warning now that Enjolras' relationship with Thierry in this story is just as important and essential as the one that develops between him and Grantaire. Therefore, there will be sexual scenes between Enjolras and Thierry, but only in flashbacks.
> 
> I just want to make it clear that they live on a ship, but are NOT pirates. I also know next to nothing about sailing, even with doing research, but I wanted a story with this setting, and this is what happened.
> 
> This is only looked at me. All spelling/grammar mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own "Les Misérables" characters or the story, sadly.

Enjolras awoke to the sun on his face. His body wrapped in the arms of his lover, Thierry, with his head resting on Thierry's chest. He closed his eyes to relish in the feeling before he opened them again. Enjolras pressed a kiss to Thierry's chest, and slowly unwrapped himself from his lover's grasp. He got out from underneath the covers and started to get dressed. Enjolras pulled on his leather pants before pulling his white puffy shirt of his head.

As he put on the shirt, Enjolras' hand brushed against the locket that Thierry had given him over a year ago. It was Enjolras' most prized possession, and it had never left his neck since Thierry had gifted it to him. Their initials _E+T_ carved in to the locket. No one knew what was on the inside except for him and Thierry, and it was going to stay that way.

Enjolras was too busy admiring the locket that he didn't feel the arms wrap around his waist until lips were pressing against his skin.

"You can't distract me. The morning crew will be up soon, and I need to set course." Enjolras let the locket fall back against his chest as he allowed Thierry access to his neck.

"You can do that later. Right now, you need to come back to bed." Thierry whispered. "Let me ravish you again."

"As tempting as that sounds, as Captain of this ship, I have duties to attend to." Enjolras told his lover.

Thierry started sucking on the base of Enjolras' neck knowing that it was his lover's weak spot. Enjolras moaned. "You know that I'm your servant when you do that." Enjolras said, but all he received in response was a hum. Enjolras turned in Thierry's arms, pulling him in for a hard kiss. He pushed them back toward the bed. Thierry landed on top of it with a loud thump. Enjolras straddled his waist.

"See that wasn't so hard." Thierry said, cheekily.

Enjolras rolled his eyes. "Alright, you have me here, do with me what you will."

Thierry flipped them over. Enjolras started laughing as Thierry wrestled him out of his shirt, throwing it somewhere in the room. His pants soon following. Thierry kissed every inch of his lover's body, inciting beautiful moans from Enjolras' lips.

"Thierry! Please!" Enjolras begged. Thierry smiled as he reached for the bottle of oil to open him up.

When they finished their lovemaking, they turned to face each other. Sweaty and breathing heavily, Enjolras smiled at his lover. Thierry made him so happy, and he had no idea what he would do without him.

"You leave me breathless." Enjolras whispered causing Thierry to blush bright red. Thierry kissed Enjolras again as his fingers found the locket. He played with it for a few moments before bringing it up to his lips to kiss the locket. Enjolras watched him. "Promise me that this is forever."

Thierry looked at his lover, and saw the sincere look in his eyes. "I thought that I already made you that promise."

Enjolras reached for Thierry's fingers, and laced them together. "I know, but I want you to promise me again."

"I promise." Thierry told him as he kissed him again.

Enjolras cupped his lover's face as Thierry pulled away from the kiss. "I'm so in love with you."

"I love you, too." Thierry said, pressing another kiss to Enjolras' lips.

They were pulled out of their bliss by the shouting above deck. Enjolras sighed as he rolled his eyes. "We should probably get up there before they destroy my ship."

Enjolras crawled out from underneath the covers. Thierry rolled back over, closed his eyes, and then followed after his lover. They both got dressed. Thierry handed Enjolras his sword belt before kissing him one last time. They climbed up the steps, opened the door, and climbed out.

"Oh, look who decided to join the land of the living." Courfeyrac said, resting against the mop used to clean up the deck.

Jehan elbowed him in the stomach, telling Courfeyrac to get back to work. He turned his attention to his Captain and the first mate. "There's some food left in the galley for you."

"Thank you, Jehan." Enjolras smiled at him before grabbing his lover's hand, leading him to the galley.

They greeted the rest of the crew as they made their way to the galley. The morning was just like any other, but the day soon turned dark as a storm started brewing up.

"There's a storm coming up." Combeferre, the navigator, told Enjolras after looking through his spyglass.

Enjolras, who was at the wheel, glanced at Thierry to allow him to make the decision. While Enjolras was the Captain, Thierry was the person that made most of the decisions.

"We'll be fine until the storm actually comes up until then we continue on course." Thierry told him.

"I don’t think that's wise." Combeferre said. "It looks bad."

"If we lower the anchor, we'll be sitting ducks. We sail on until we can't." Thierry pressed.

"Enjolras-" Combeferre started protesting.

"I agree with Thierry. We sail on." Enjolras told his friend.

***

It was only an hour later when rain started pouring down, but the wind had barely picked up. Bahorel, who was up in the crow's nest, looked through his spyglass and saw a ship approaching from the east. He used the spyglass to get a better look at the markings of the ship. It was the _Patron-Minette_ , and its captain, Montparnasse. Enjolras' greatest enemy.

Bahorel started to climb down the rope ladder as he called. "Captain!" He glanced over at Enjolras, who was still at the wheel, but he couldn’t hear him over the rain. He continued to call until he was on the deck and running toward the wheel. "Captain." Enjolras turned to look at him. "Enemy ship approaching from the east. It's Montparnasse and his crew."

Enjolras' eyes snapped to Thierry, who walked towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It will be alright."

It was another hour before the ships were side by side. Enjolras knew that it wasn't anything on the ship that they were after. They were only sailors that lived on a ship, not pirates or navy. Montparnasse was after Thierry. He had been since he had first laid eyes on him.

Thierry made his way toward Enjolras as the pirate ship connected its plank to the side of their ship. Thierry laced his hand with Enjolras'. Slowly, Montparnasse walked across the plank with three other members of his crew: Gueulemer, Babet, and Claquesous.

"Captain Enjolras and the crew of the _Musain._ You know you aren't very tough for a Captain." Montparnasse taunted. Enjolras didn't reply knowing that the other captain was just trying to bait him. Montparnasse's ruthless eyes scanned the crew before his eyes rested on Thierry. "Oh, and Thierry. Have you realized that you're sick of this boy, who you call a Captain, and decided to join a crew of real men?" Montparnasse asked.

Thierry rolled his eyes. "You ask the same question every time we see each other and every time you get the same answer. No." He said, forcefully.

"Well, have it your way." Montparnasse said. "Babet, find the jewels."

Babet went to find any type of jewels, and eventually found a diamond necklace underneath the bed of a crew member. He brought it back to Montparnasse.

"Is that all there is?" He hissed at Babet. Babet nodded at him.

Enjolras saw what they had. It was the necklace that Joly and Bossuet had given Musichetta for an anniversary present. "I'm not allowing you to take it."

Montparnasse turned to face Enjolras. "Well, until you give me the jewel that I really want, I'll take whatever I want." Montparnasse said, drawing his sword. "Take the necklace back to the ship."

"No." Enjolras said, walking toward Montparnasse, reaching out for the necklace. He was stopped by Montparnasse's sword.

"Really, Little Captain. Are you really that foolish?" Montparnasse asked with an evil smile.

Enjolras glared at him, but moved back towards the rest of the crew. He didn't notice Thierry make his way around the ship to try to get the necklace back. But, when he got to Montparnasse's ship, he was caught by Babet. Montparnasse saw his prize and smiled. Enjolras finally saw Thierry when Montparnasse was holding a dagger to his throat.

"Let him go!" Enjolras screamed. Charging toward the other captain, but Bahorel held him back.

"Let the necklace go or I'll slice his pretty little neck." Montparnasse said, licking Thierry's neck.

Thierry groaned in disgust. "Don't touch me." He said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, a feisty one you have here, Little Captain. If he was handled by me, he wouldn't have such a mouth on him." Montparnasse smiled.

"You'll never handle me, you filth." Thierry told him.

Montparnasse chuckled. "So what will it be, Little Captain? Your precious lover or the necklace."

Enjolras looked at Thierry to the crew, and then, back to Thierry. He glanced at Musichetta, who nodded. It was her necklace, but she knew that Enjolras would never trade a necklace for a person. Especially if that person was Thierry.

"Fine. Take the necklace. Just let Thierry go." Enjolras told him.

"Okay." Montparnasse said, but before he let him go, he stabbed Thierry in the right side of his stomach with his dagger. Thierry let out a scream of pain as he fell to the deck.

"No!" Enjolras screamed. Montparnasse and his crew made their escape as Enjolras ran to his lover's side to try and stop the blood flow. Joly followed after him.

 "We need to get him to your room. I can't get a good look at the damage here." Joly said.

Enjolras had Bahorel's help to carry Thierry to captain's quarters. They laid him down on the couch, Enjolras not leaving his lover's side. He helped Thierry remove his shirt, so Joly could have a look at the wound.

"It's incredibly deep." Joly said as he cleaned and inspected it.

"He's going to be alright, though?" Enjolras asked, desperately.

"Yes, he'll be fine." Joly told his Captain. "But he'll be in a lot of pain for a few days."

Once the wound was cleaned, he grabbed thread and needle to stitch it up. Joly left the lover's alone after he was done stitching up the wound.

"Enj, I'm sorry." Thierry said to Enjolras.

Enjolras looked at Thierry, running his fingers through his hair. "Hey, this isn't your fault. It's Montparnasse's. You're going to be fine." He leaned down to press his lips to his lover's.

***

A few hours, the crew sat around the deck of the ship, playing with dice and drinking rum. They had no cares in the world, even with Montparnasse's visit to the ship. Combeferre and Enjolras stood off to the side, discussing navigational routes.

Thierry was sitting with the rest of the crew as they played the game, when all of sudden, he felt pain in the right side of his stomach. He winced, getting Feuilly's attention.

"Hey, you okay?" Feuilly asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Thierry told them.

They continued playing their game until Thierry started to groan in pain. He clutched at his side, and then, he started to spasm and fell out of his chair to the floor.

"Thierry!" Enjolras screamed as he ran to his side. "Hey, it's alright." He lifted Thierry's shirt up to the wound. He saw that the stitches had opened up and the wound was black. "Joly!" He screamed.

Joly ran to Thierry's other side. When he saw the wound, he dropped to his knees to get a better look. He realized that it was dreamshade. A deadly poison. Montparnasse's dagger must have been laced with it.

"Joly, do something, please." Enjolras begged, desperately. Tears already flowing down his cheeks.

Joly looked at Enjolras to Thierry and back. "Enj, there's nothing that I can do. He's poisoned with dreamshade. I don't have the antidote. I'm sorry."

Enjolras looked at Thierry to Joly. He shook his head. "No, no." He heard Thierry struggle for breath, and turned back to Thierry. He gripped Thierry's hand. "Thierry, stay with me. Whatever you do, don't close your eyes."

Thierry reached for the locket that was hanging from his lover's neck. "I'm so sorry, my love."

"No, no, no. Thierry. Please. You promised me." Enjolras cried.

"And now, I have to break that promise." Thierry said. Enjolras gripped his hand tighter and leaned down to kiss him. "I love you, Enjolras."

"No, Thierry. Don't you dare say goodbye."

Thierry looked at him. "Just say it. One last time."

"I love you, Thierry."

The rest of the crew looked on at the couple. Cosette was crying into Marius' shoulder. Jehan was crying into Courfeyrac's. Bossuet was holding Musichetta as she cried. Courfeyrac and Feuilly had silent tears running down their cheeks. Combeferre, Marius, and Bossuet all had tears in their eyes that hadn't fallen, yet. Joly sat at Thierry's other side, feeling guilty and silently crying. Bahorel and Éponine simply looked on from the side.

Enjolras leaned down to kiss Thierry again, but as they were kissing, Thierry drew his last breath. His hand falling limp in Enjolras'.

"NO!" Enjolras screamed into the dead of night. "No! No." He started crying harder. "Thierry, please. Wake up!" He shook Thierry. "No, Thierry. Please. I love you." Enjolras kissed his lover's lifeless lips.

Bahorel and Feuilly moved to take Thierry's body away, but Enjolras wouldn't let them. He glared at the both of them. Enjolras held onto to Thierry's shirt with a vice-like grip as he cried over his dead lover's body. Combeferre walked toward his friend. He put his hands on his shoulders to try and get Enjolras to move, but his friend refused.

"Enj, come on." Combeferre said.

"No!" Enjolras cried ever harder. He pulled himself out of Combeferre's arms.

Combeferre reached around him to pry Thierry's shirt out of Enjolras' tight grip. "You have to let go, Enj." He finally got Enjolras' hand to let go of Thierry. Combeferre nodded at Feuilly and Bahorel to take Thierry away. When Enjolras saw what they were doing, he tried to chase after them, but Combeferre pulled him back against him, refusing to let him go.

Enjolras turned toward his friend to sob into his shoulder. Combeferre led Enjolras down to the Captain's quarters, forcing him to lie down on the bed.

"He promised me, 'Ferre." Enjolras said as tears continued to spill from his eyes.

"I know." Combeferre said. He poured a glass of water for Enjolras to drink.

Enjolras finished the glass, but it didn't stop the crying. He eventually ended up crying himself to sleep. Combeferre not leaving his side.

***

A few days later, Enjolras and his friends had gathered up on deck to bury Thierry at sea. His body was wrapped in white sheets and was resting on a platform of wood. Enjolras stood off to the side, not saying a word and in a dream-like state. Enjolras didn't even notice Bahorel, Feuilly, Courfeyrac, and Combeferre raise the platform, so that the body could fall into the sea until he heard the splash.

Enjolras watched his lover's body be taken under the waves, but he didn't cry. He had spent the last three days doing nothing, but crying. His eyes were red and sore. Enjolras didn't feel anything. He just felt numb. Once he could no longer see Thierry's body, he turned toward the steps that would take him to the ship's wheel, not saying a word. His friends watched him in silence.

"Raise the anchor." Enjolras said once he had reached the wheel.

The friends all looked at each other, but it was Combeferre who said. "Enjolras, you need to mourn. We all do."

"I said, raise the anchor." Enjolras commanded in a cold stern voice.

Knowing better than to argue with their Captain, the crew did what he had commanded. But they all knew that it was going to get worse. Much worse. Before it got better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough* The last three sentences are foreshadowing. *cough*
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.
> 
> Blog: thechiefandhiscynic.blogspot.com.  
> Tumblr: ilovemybarricadebabies


	2. Chapter 1

_Three years later,_

Grantaire woke up with the sunshine on his face, coming in from the inn's small window. He blinked a few times before sitting up and getting out of bed. His head was pounding, a side effect from the amount of wine that he had drank the night before. Grantaire got off the bed to walk over to the dresser where the pitcher of water and bowl was sitting. He splashed water on his face and glanced out the window.

He looked out to the sea and felt a longing for it. Grantaire had always loved the water. He had always wanted to grow up to join the Royal Navy, but that plan had disintegrated a year and a half ago when his parents and sister were killed in the fire that destroyed their family home. He had been the only one to survive, but sometimes he wished that he hadn't. Now, he would just be glad to join any ship, pirate or not, to just escape the memories and pain.

Grantaire got dressed before leaving his room at the inn and down the stairs. He left the inn to head to the tavern, greeting the villagers as he went.

***

Enjolras stared over the water as he stood at the wheel of the ship. The crew were all moving around the deck, doing their daily chores.

In the three years since Thierry's death, his friends had all noticed the change in him. He was very cold and distant from all of them. There was a constant look of a sadness in his eyes. They could hear screams and crying come from the Captain's quarters at night. Enjolras barely ate and he never smiled or laughed. He was a shell of the man that he used to be.

Combeferre, hesitantly, walked up the steps to the wheel. "Um…I've looked at our supplies, and I think it would be a good idea to make port in Castlebury. Let the other have a night at the tavern after we gather supplies." He hesitantly brought up his next point knowing what Enjolras' reaction was going to be since it was the same every time the idea was brought up. "Potentially…bring on a new crew member."

Enjolras froze where he was standing before letting out a cold, but stiff, "No."

"Enjolras, please. Just one more person." Combeferre begged.

"No." Enjolras turned to glare at him. "12 people on this ship and that is final."

Combeferre sighed. "Adding one more person to the crew is not going to take away from Thierry's memory, Enjolras. We just thought-"

The Captain's glare grew colder. "I know what you thought, but this is my ship. I'm the Captain. What I say goes. So, no new member, and that is final."

"Enj-" Combeferre started.

"The conversation is over, Combeferre." Enjolras turned back to look at the wheel.

Combeferre sighed before turned to walk back down the steps, but he turned back to say. "Fine, but this isn't what Thierry would want."

As he heard his first mate walk down the stairs, Enjolras looked down at his locket as he thought, _He just doesn't understand. None of them do._ He then looked back over to the ocean.

***

The ship docked in Castlebury. The group of friends left the ship to go and search for the tavern while Enjolras and Combeferre stayed to discuss the budget for supplies. After they had bought all the supplies they needed, Enjolras sent Combeferre ahead to the tavern, while he stayed with the ship.

The group arrived at the tavern. They group found a table to sit down at and ordered a round of ale for all of them. The barmaid passed their mugs around the table. They were joking around when Joly looked up to see a man, sitting in the corner, writing on a piece of paper. The man looked up and Joly quietly gasped. He stood up to walk to the man.

"Hi." Joly said. The man jumped back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

The man looked at Joly, who then realized that it couldn't be Thierry because the color of their eyes were different. Thierry had ice blue eyes and this man had green eyes.

"What are you staring at?" The man asked.

"Sorry, it's just that you look like someone that I knew once." Joly told him.

"Oh, okay." The man said. "I'm Grantaire."

"I'm Joly."

"You're a pirate, aren't you?"

Joly chuckled. "No, actually, I'm not. I'm just a sailor."

"Oh, the only ship that's like that is the one that is captained by Captain Enjolras." Grantaire said. "Please, sit."

The rest of the friends slowly made their way to the table that Joly and Grantaire were sitting at. They all introduced themselves to Grantaire. After about an hour of drinking and laughing, Bahorel asked him.

"We've been looking for another person to join our crew, would you be interested?" He asked.

Combeferre immediately protested. "Um….I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Oh, come on." Éponine said.

Combeferre turned to Grantaire. "If you'll excuse us for a few moments." He gestured for the other to come outside with him.

They met outside the tavern when Bahorel turned to them and said, "'Ferre, it's been three years. He has got to let go at some point."

Every member of the crew glared at him, except for Éponine.

"Need I remind you, Bahorel, that you are not the Captain or hold any rank except for crew member? Since Enjolras isn't here, I'm the one in charge, and I'm telling you that Grantaire isn't coming on the ship." Combeferre told him.

"Plus, if you want to deal with Enjolras' wrath, be our guest. But don't blame us for it." Courfeyrac told him.

"Whatever." Bahorel told him.

Since it was a vote of eight to two of not letting Grantaire join the crew, they didn't see the point in debating it anymore. They all went back into the tavern to tell Grantaire that they were sorry, but it wasn't the best idea for them to join the crew because Enjolras wouldn't be happy. However, when they got back inside, they discovered that Grantaire was gone. They shrugged and went back to their drinking.

***

While the crew of the _Musain_ debated whether or not to let him on their crew, Grantaire had took matters into his own hands. He left through the back door to head toward the inn to pack everything that he owned which wasn't much. Two other shirts and one other pair of trousers. Another green vest. His sketchbook. A picture that contained his family. Grantaire threw it all into his pack, and walked back downstairs. He walked out of the inn and headed toward the harbor. He hid behind boxes of supplies as he made his way towards the ship that he knew as the _Musain_.

When Grantaire made it to the ship, he snuck on board. He had thought that he had been quiet, but when he turned, he came face to face with the Captain. The Captain was glaring at him coldly.

"Who are you?" His voice was icy and stern.

"Grantaire." Grantaire squeaked.

"What are you doing here?" Enjolras said through gritted teeth.

Grantaire didn't shy away from the intense look that the captain was giving him. "Um…I've always had a love for sailing, and there's nothing here for me, so I thought now is as good as time as any."

"There's no need for you on this ship." Enjolras told him, turning away.

"I understand that, but I promise that if you let me stay, I'll do whatever you ask." Grantaire told him.

Unable to fight against a person in need, Enjolras sighed. "Fine, but whatever you do, do not get in the way. When my crew returns, Bossuet will show you to where you'll sleep. Tomorrow, he'll show you the ropes." He turned back to head into the Captain's quarters.

Grantaire sighed in relief. He had been taken aback by how handsome Captain Enjolras was. He had heard stories, but those didn't do justice to the real thing. The piercing blue eyes were Grantaire's favorite part. He felt that he could lose himself in those eyes if he wasn't careful.

He pushed all thoughts of the Captain out of his head as he waited for the other members of the crew to return to the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, next two chapters on Monday, but don't expect them until after 5 P.M. Central Time because the spring semester starts up on Monday.
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames though, please.
> 
> Blog: thechiefandhiscynic.blogspot.com.  
> Tumblr: ilovemybarricadebabies


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that it's a little slow, right now, but I promise that it will pick up. Just give it a few more chapters.

Enjolras watched as Joly finished explaining to Grantaire how the ship worked and the organization of when everything was done and who was in charge of it. It had been a few days since he had agreed to allow him to stay on the ship. Enjolras hadn't wanted to agree to it, but hearing the desperation in Grantaire's voice had caused him to give in. For the most part, he kept his distance from him, allowing the crew to handle teaching Grantaire on how his ship ran. This ship ran like a well-oiled machine, and Enjolras would not tolerate anyone who disrupted that.

It didn't help that Grantaire had a striking resemblance to Thierry. The curly dark hair, cheeks covered in freckles, the same build. Enjolras had thought that it had been Thierry until he saw that Grantaire's nose was crooked and that their voices were completely different. Then, of course, their eyes were different colors. Thierry's had been a light sky blue, Grantaire's were jade green. Plus, Grantaire was very pessimistic unlike Thierry.

Even after three years, it still hurt to think of Thierry. He had pretty much banned the crew from talking about him, or even speaking his name. Enjolras didn't want to forget about Thierry, but it was easier than being constantly reminded of the hole that had been punched through his chest.

With one final glance at Grantaire and Joly, Enjolras turned his gaze to the sea.

***

Grantaire had been amazed by the beauty of the ship and the care that had been taken to make sure that it ran in tip-top shape. Joly and Bossuet had been assigned to showing him around the ship, and Joly was finally finishing it up.

"We all share the work on this ship. None of us really have a set job, except for Enjolras since he's the Captain. But he's only the Captain because this was his father's ship. We are all one big happy family." Joly explained.

"Enjolras included in that?" Grantaire asked.

The Captain had kept his distance from him and barely said more than three words to him since he had agreed to him being allowed to stay.

"He's really not that bad. Enj has been through a lot in the last three years, so it's kinda of made him distant from the rest of us. Just give it time and he'll come around."

Grantaire nodded, but he didn't believe it.

"Anyway, it's almost time for lunch, so we should head to the galley." Joly told him.

When the crew had returned to the ship to discover that Grantaire had found his way to the ship on his own, they had welcomed him with open arms. In the days since, Grantaire had gotten incredibly close with Joly and Bossuet as they had shown him the ropes.

It was clear to him that the crew was very loyal to each other, and despite his distance, they were also very loyal to their Captain.

Grantaire had also picked up on the romantic relationships that were on the ship. There was something going on between Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta. Courfeyrac and Jehan practically displayed their affection for each other, not caring who saw. Then, there was the vomit-inducing relationship between Marius and Cosette. Bahorel and Éponine had something going on, too. However, another thing that he had noticed was that they were reluctant to show any kind of affection for their significant others if Enjolras was around. Grantaire didn't ask why because the crew had a tendency to change the subject on anything that had to do with their Captain.

After dinner, Grantaire walked back up to the deck, but when he heard the voices of the Captain, Combeferre, and Courfeyrac, he stopped himself. He had wondered why Combeferre and Courfeyrac hadn't been in the galley (Enjolras never ate with the rest of them. Hell, he barely ate, period.), now he knew why.

"-we really do understand, Enj." Courfeyrac had said.

It was Enjolras who spoke next. "Do you really? I never should have allowed him on this ship. I went against my own better judgement."

Grantaire realized that the conversation was about him.

"We know that, but as he told you, nothing was keeping him in Castlebury. You said once that you wouldn't leave anyone out in the cold." Combeferre reminded him.

Enjolras sighed. "I know, but tell me you did not fail to see the resemblance between Grantaire and _him_. I thought that it was until I had gotten a closer look at him."

Combeferre looked at his friend, sadness in his eyes. "We noticed. I'm sorry, Enj."

"It's alright. There's nothing we can do about it now. He's here, and I'll grow accustomed to it. It just might take a little while." Enjolras told his friends.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac hugged their friend before leaving him to his thoughts. When Grantaire heard footsteps walk in his direction, he quickly hid, so they wouldn't see him as they made their way toward the galley.

Grantaire left his hiding spot. He walked up the steps, only to see Enjolras with something his hand. He brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. Before Enjolras could see him, Grantaire turned around to walk back into the galley.

***

A little while after Combeferre and Courfeyrac went to the galley, Enjolras heard the crew make their way up to the deck. They all started doing their assigned tasks with Bossuet taking the wheel from Enjolras. He left the deck and headed toward the Captain's quarters. He removed his jacket and belt before sitting down on the bed. He rubbed his eyes before running his hands through his hair. Enjolras laid down and closed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantaire continues to learn more about the mystery surrounding the Captain and the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own anything, but the plot of this story.

_"I love you." Thierry whispered as he kissed Enjolras_

_Enjolras pulled away and smiled, but didn't reply._

_They were in complete bliss. Laying in the meadow behind Enjolras' home. Bees were buzzing, the sun was shining. It was the most perfect moment in time._

_Then, suddenly they were surrounded in darkness and they heard maniacal laughing. Enjolras turned and saw Montparnasse holding Thierry in a choke hold and a knife to his waist. Enjolras tried to run to him, but it was too late. Montparnasse had stabbed Thierry, and he had fallen to the ground, dead._

_Montparnasse turned his gaze to Enjolras before he laughed and his eyes started to turn blood red. "You're next." His voice echoed. "You're next. You're next." The voice kept repeating_

Enjolras awoke with a shout before realizing where he was. He was safe in the Captain's quarters. He got out of bed and walked to the window. He pushed it open, allowing the smell of salt, sea, and the cool night air wash over him. Enjolras then walked over to the dresser where the pitcher of water was waiting. He poured it into the basin and splashed the water on his face.

It had been months since he had last dreamed about Thierry. He never slept well after he did. Enjolras sighed before making his way back to the bed. He climbed back under the covers and did his best to fall asleep.

***

The next morning, when he walked up on deck, the crew could tell immediately that their Captain wasn't in a very good mood. Enjolras took his place at the wheel while Combeferre followed him.

"I thought you said that the nightmares had stopped." Combeferre asked him.

"They did." Enjolras told him. "But then, last night they started up again after I don't how many months. Then, this morning, I realized what day it was."

Combeferre came to realization as too what Enjolras was referring to. It was Thierry's birthday. He placed a hand on Enjolras' arm. "Alright, listen. I'll ask Joly if he has any of the sleeping powder left to give you tonight."

"Thanks, 'Ferre." Enjolras replied.

"No problem." Combeferre went to go find Joly after leaving Enjolras' side.

Combeferre found him the galley, placing dice and drinking rum with Courfeyrac and Bossuet. "You better hope you're done with that before Enjolras discovers you."

"Yes, 'Ferre." The other three said in unison.

Combeferre rolled his eyes. "Speaking of the Captain, umm…Joly, do you have any of those sleeping powders left?"

Joly turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "I thought the nightmares stopped."

"Apparently, they started up again last night, plus it doesn't help what day it is." Combeferre told his friends and their eyes lit up in realization. "He looks like he didn't get any sleep last night. Do you have any to give him?"

Joly nodded. "I'll give him some tonight to make sure that he gets the proper dosage."

"Thanks, Joly." Combeferre turned away.

Joly turned back to game. His heart feeling heavy. He looked at the other two sitting at the table, who both had sad expressions on their faces.

***

Grantaire came up on the deck and the first thing that he noticed was the somber mood of the crew members. The first thing he set out to do was set out to find someone who could tell him what the hell was going on. The first person he found was Courfeyrac, who was shining up the canons.

"What the hell is with this mood today?" Grantaire asked. "There's just a blanket of sadness across the ship today."

Courfeyrac looked at him and glared. "It's because it's a special day of remembrance for the crew."

Grantaire raised an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just that if you want to keep your head today, whatever you do, do not say the name Montparnasse or the _Patron-Minette_ in front of our Captain today." Courfeyrac told him.

"Why not?" Grantaire asked.

"Just don't. Please." Courfeyrac begged.

Seeing the serious expression on Courfeyrac's face, Grantaire nodded, but didn't reply.

***

Later that night, Joly was in the Captain's quarters with Enjolras. He waited until Enjolras was settled in the bed before handing him a cup of water with the powder mixed in.

"We'll start out with a small dose tonight just to see if it will help. If it doesn't, I'll up the dosage tomorrow night." Joly told him, handing him the cup.

Enjolras knocked back the contents of the cup before handing it back to Joly. Joly took the cup and set it on the table. Then, he sat down on the bed, taking Enjolras' hand.

"I'm sorry that we didn't do our usual tribute to Thierry. It's just with Grantaire now here and not knowing the full story of you and him, we figured that it would be best to wait."

Enjolras nodded in agreement before squeezing Joly's hand. "It's alright. I understand."

Above they heard laughing. Joly looked up, longingly. Enjolras smiled, softly. Joly looked at him.

"Go." Enjolras waved him off.

"I can stay."

"No. Go and have fun, I insist."

Joly hugged him. He grabbed his things before walking back up the steps to the deck. Enjolras smiled after his friend. He would be up there too, if it wasn't for the fact that he just wasn't up to it. Enjolras hadn't realized how tired he was until he had started getting ready for bed.

Enjolras blew out the candle before he shuffled down under the blankets. He closed his eyes and attempted to fall asleep. Key word being attempted because a few hours later, he was waking up again. Enjolras turned his head and from the window he could tell that it was only about three in the morning. He groaned into the pillow before crawling out from under the covers. He grabbed his shirt before heading up the stairs.

The night shift which consisted of only a few members (Bahorel, Feuilly, and Bossuet) should have started while he was sleeping. Feuilly noticed him and walked toward him.

"I thought Joly gave you some of the sleeping powder?" Feuilly asked.

"He did, but I guess, that they didn't do their job." Enjolras told him.

"Are you alright, Enjolras? I mean, I know what yesterday was, so the answer is obviously no, but my point still stands." Feuilly said.

Enjolras sighed. "I'm fine. I'm sure that the only reason I can't sleep is because of yesterday."

Feuilly looked at him with a sad expression. "It'll get better in time, Enj. Don't forget that."

Enjolras nodded at his friend before hugging him. "Thanks."

After he finished talking to Feuilly, he headed back down to the Captain's quarters. He crawled under the covers and closed his eyes. Waiting for sleep to come, which it eventually did.

***

Further below deck, Grantaire was drawing in his sketchbook on his cot. He didn't mean to eavesdrop on Courfeyrac and Jehan's conversation, it just sort of happened. Of course, it didn't help that they practically shared a cot and it was right next to his.

"I felt bad for Enjolras today?" Jehan whispered.

Courfeyrac sighed. "I know, me too. I wish there was something that we could do to help."

Jehan didn’t say anything for a few minutes later. "I wonder if he'll ever fall in love again."

"I don't know. He was Enjolras' entire life. We watched them fall in love, Jehan, remember. You know how deeply they loved each other." Courfeyrac reminded him.

"I know, but I just want him to be happy. He deserves to be." Jehan whispered.

"And maybe one day, he will be. We just have to give him time." Courfeyrac replied.

Grantaire couldn't hear anymore because instead of words, all he heard was the sounds of kissing. He rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to his drawing. His mind continued to replay the conversation that he just overheard.

Enjolras hadn't always been cold and distant. He had a lover, but from what it sounded like something had happened to him. Grantaire wondered if what happened to the lover was the something that had happened on the ship all those years ago. He knew that the crew would tell him eventually, but he was intrigued with the mystery surrounding the Captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the chapters that will be posted on Wednesday, the plot in the summary begins to come into play and they will come earlier than what today's chapters did.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, definitely not posted as early as I had hoped, but I had to get homework done first.
> 
> Still don't own anything, but plot.

A few days later, Grantaire still hadn’t learned anymore about the mystery that surrounded the Captain and his lover. He didn't dare ask the crew because he knew that they'd be tight-lipped. He had, however, learned that the crew had spent a year and a half searching for the antidote of some kind of poison. They eventually found it in an apothecary's shop. Joly now kept it locked up tight, just in case they ever needed it.

Grantaire thought it was a little strange for a sea captain to spend a year and half looking for a poison antidote, but who was he to judge?

Grantaire was currently mopping the deck with Joly when he saw Jehan and Courfeyrac acting affectionate with each other and rolled his eyes.

"Could they be any more vomit inducing?" He gestured to Courfeyrac and Jehan.

Joly looked up and saw what he was talking about. "Clearly, you've never been in love before?" Grantaire shook his head. "While once you do, you'll understand."

"If it makes me act like that, I don't want to be in love." Grantaire told him.

"Not all love is like that." Joly said, turning his head to glance at Enjolras, who was standing a few feet away and was looking over the side of the ship.

Grantaire followed Joly's gaze and was just going to ask what he meant by that, but when he turned back to face Joly, he had moved to a different part of the ship. Grantaire got back to work, not realizing that Enjolras had heard the entire conversation.

***

Later that night, Grantaire was up on deck. His insomnia keeping him awake, so he was sketching in his sketchbook. He was currently drawing the ship or what he could draw of the ship. He was gazing up at the stars when he felt a presence standing next to him.

He turned to see that it was Enjolras. He asked, "May I help you?"

"No." Enjolras said. The pair fell into a silence before Enjolras asked him. "What are you drawing?"

"Just your ship." He turned it toward Enjolras. "It's not very good."

Enjolras had to disagree. It was the most perfect piece of art that he had ever seen in his life. "No, it's actually very good. What other pieces of art do you have in there?"

"Nothing all that interesting." Grantaire said, handing him the sketchbook.

Enjolras took it with great care and started flipping through the pages. He saw landscapes, portraits, and so many other beautiful drawings. He handed it back to him saying, "You really are talented, Grantaire, but there was one drawing in there that I noticed. It looked like a hand burning in flames."

Grantaire went stiff. "That's nothing. It's…just…um…part of my life story. All I'm going to say is that I lost someone, but that's all I feel comfortable sharing right now, so I guess we'll leave it at that."

Enjolras nodded. "That's fine. You can share as much or as little about you as you want. This crew is like a family, but they also know when to respect boundaries."

"Thank you." Grantaire looking back at the sketch book.

"I lost someone, too. Someone very close to me." Enjolras said.

Grantaire nodded, but didn't reply. Instead, he opened the sketchbook to the sketch of the ship. He took it out and folded it. "I want you to have this. It's the sketch of the ship and since you're the Captain…um…here."

As Enjolras took it from him, his sleeve rose up allowing Grantaire to notice the tattoo on his wrist. It was a heart with a banner over it, and on the banner was the name "Thierry".

"Who's Thierry on the tattoo?" Grantaire asked. He didn't fail to notice how Enjolras went rigid at the name and he turned back into the cold man that he usually was.

Enjolras pulled his sleeve down and turned away. "Someone from long ago."

Grantaire couldn't help his curiosity. "Where is he?"

"He's gone." Enjolras turned to walk back towards his quarters.

Grantaire stood there for a few moments, finally putting all the pieces together. Thierry was the Captain's lover and a friend of the crew. He was what the crew was supposed to celebrate a few days ago. He was the reason why they couldn't mention Montparnasse or the _Patron-Minette_. Thierry was the person that Enjolras had been talking about a few moments ago.

"Montparnasse." Grantaire whispered before turning to look at Enjolras, who was standing frozen. "Montparnasse. The _Patron-Minette_. He took him from you, didn't he?" Grantaire asked. "He's the person you lost.”

Enjolras glared. "I overheard your conversation with Joly today. About you never being in love, but you know for someone who's never been in love, you're quite perceptive, aren't you?"

Grantaire sighed. "Just because I've never been in love, doesn't mean that I don't know what love is."

Enjolras shook his head before walking back to the Captain's quarters. Grantaire watched Enjolras leave before looking back out over the sea.

***

The next morning, Courfeyrac and Grantaire were mopping the deck, again. Enjolras was apparently still in his quarters. The crew moved around Courfeyrac and Grantaire as they went about their work.

Grantaire went to go get the mop wet again. "Courf, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Courfeyrac said as I he mopped.

"Who was Thierry?" Grantaire asked. Not failing to notice the way that Courfeyrac freeze at his question. "It's just last night, I saw the tattoo on Enjolras' wrist, and I was curious about who he was?"

Courfeyrac sighed. He finished his work to lean on the mop. "I really shouldn't be saying anything."

"Courf, please." Grantaire pleaded with him.

Courfeyrac nodded. "Okay. Thierry was Enjolras' lover. Enjolras loved him more than he's ever loved anyone."

"What happened to him?" Grantaire asked.

Courfeyrac shivered as if he was trying to shake away the memory. "Three years ago, there was an attack on the ship by the _Patron-Minette_. The Captain-"

"Montparnasse?" Grantaire asked. "I've heard stories about him."

Courfeyrac nodded. "Yes, Captain Montparnasse had wanted Thierry from the moment he saw him. His goal was always getting him away from Enjolras. Anyway, during the attack, Montparnasse took a necklace that Joly and Bossuet gave Musichetta, but when Thierry tried to get it back, Montparnasse took him as a hostage. Montparnasse gave Enjolras an ultimatum. The necklace or Thierry. Enjolras would never trade Thierry for anything and Montparnasse knew that. When Enjolras made his choice, Montparnasse let Thierry go, but not before stabbing him in the side. Joly fixed up the wound as best he could, but little did we know at the time that Montparnasse's dagger was laced with poison. Thierry succumbed to the poison hours later. We were all heartbroken, but Enjolras had his heart ripped out of his chest."

Grantaire nodded. "So, how did they meet?"

"They grew up together. Enjolras and Thierry were neighbors and their parents were friends. They were best friends. They knew each other better than they knew themselves. When Enjolras would move, Thierry would move. Like magnets." Courfeyrac explained. "Enjolras' father was Captain in the Royal Navy. Thierry's father was also in the Navy. Neither of them got to see their father very much, but when they could they would take them out sailing. Both of them loved it. When Enjolras was 16, the king sent his dad out on a mission, but his dad was killed. Enjolras was so angry with the king that he and Thierry ran away from home. They took Enjolras' father's ship that was docked not too far from their house and set out to sea. A place where there was no rules to follow, and here you have it." Courfeyrac gestured to the _Musain_.

"How did they obtain the crew?" Grantaire asked.

"They went out searching for potential crew members. Of course, they made it clear that we weren't pirates. Just sailors, who followed our own rules. Anyway, they found Combeferre and me first. Then, they found Jehan, and with Jehan came Feuilly. A few months later, Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta joined. Followed by Marius and Cosette. That was the only crew for about six years until Bahorel and Éponine joined about four months before Thierry was killed." Courfeyrac told Grantaire

Grantaire sighed as he took in all the information. "Has Enjolras ever gone back home?"

Courfeyrac shook his head. "No. He doesn't even know if his mother is still alive. Neither did Thierry."

"Were they always in love?" Grantaire asked as he continued with his work.

Courfeyrac continued explaining as he did the same. "No, they were just very close friends when they first obtained the ship. It wasn't until Enjolras was around 18 that they fell in love. They knew that they cared about each other a great deal and protected one another, but they didn't realize what it was until Thierry was almost lost at sea during a storm. Thankfully, we got him back on board, but that was the day that they shared their first kiss much to the crew's relief."

"What do you mean?" Grantaire asked.

"The sexual tension between the two was unbearable while they figured out their feelings. We watched them fall in love. We had never seen two people more perfect for each other than those two. Thierry was like our brother. It was devastating when he died." Courfeyrac told him.

"So, Enjolras has spent the last three years in mourning?" Grantaire asked.

"He loved Thierry more than anything. I'm afraid that there's nothing that could ever rival that love." Courfeyrac said before going on and continuing with the work on the ship.

Grantaire thought about what had just been told to him. He didn't believe that the Captain could never love again. He watched Enjolras come out of his quarters before going back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is part of this chapter inspired by/taken from season 2, episode 6 of the TV show, "Once Upon a Time"? Yes, it is, and obviously, that's something else that I don't own.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said at the beginning, Enjolras and Thierry's relationship is just as important as Enjolras and Grantaire's, so be warned that there's a sexual flashback between E and T in this chapter.

A few days later the ship docked in a small village to resupply. Once everyone stepped off, Enjolras gave them all six hours of freedom before the ship set sail again. They waited to leave the dock until Combeferre and Enjolras had everything squared away that was needed. They walked off the dock and into the village. The group walked together and as they got further into the village, Grantaire noticed a small girl reaching for an apple from a stand. He walked to the stand to help the little girl. Enjolras was the first to notice what Grantaire was doing.

"Hi, there. Do you want some help?" Grantaire asked the little girl, who nodded shyly. Grantaire asked the vendor how much for the apple.

"Two." The vendor said.

Grantaire pulled the coins from his pocket. It was money left over from his time in Castlebury. He paid the vendor and plucked an apple from the stand. He bent down and gave it to the little girl. The little girl took it with a smile before throwing her arms around Grantaire. Grantaire hugged the girl back before she ran off. He stood up and turned toward the group. All of them now having noticed that Grantaire had stopped. He didn't fail to notice the smiles on all their faces, except for Enjolras'. He walked back to the group. Getting pats on the back for what he did, but he just shrugged them off.

The group started walking, but Jehan stayed behind with Enjolras, who was standing frozen.

Jehan placed a hand on Enjolras' shoulder, shaking from his trance. "You alright?"

"What Grantaire just did, that's something Thierry would have done." Enjolras told his friend.

Jehan nodded. "I know, but just remember that Grantaire isn't Thierry. I'm sure that he doesn't even know that Thierry would have done that."

"Right." Enjolras pulled up his sleeve and looked at the tattoo. "Come on. We should keep going." He started walking again to catch up with the others.

Jehan stayed behind, smiling. For he knew in that moment that Grantaire was the key to opening Enjolras' heart again.

***

As the day and walk through the village went on, Grantaire noticed that Enjolras was refusing to look at him and was doing what did he did best. Avoid him. He stopped walking and came to a slow pace, so that he'd be in step with Enjolras.

"What are you doing?" Enjolras asked him.

Grantaire shrugged. "Nothing much. Just thought I'd come and join you."

"I'm fine." Enjolras said.

Grantaire nodded, but didn't reply.

They finished their walk through the village before they made their way back to the ship and set sail once again.

***

Only to find themselves that night, dancing along to random music that Joly was playing on his makeshift piccolo. Enjolras stood off to the side, watching his friends. It was Bahorel's turn to man the wheel. Enjolras had a mug of rum in his hands and chuckled at his crew's ridiculousness, but only when he brought the mug to his lips.

As Joly played the music, Courfeyrac, Jehan, Cosette, Bossuet, and Grantaire all danced around in a circle. Enjolras looked over at the sea as the music stopped and the cheering started. Grantaire switched places with Musichetta to catch his breath. He noticed Enjolras watching him, but didn't dare go near the Captain.

As Enjolras watched, he was reminded of the time when something similar to this occurred when Thierry was still alive. A night about ten months before he was killed.

_Joly was playing joyful music on his makeshift piccolo as the group danced in pairs around the ship. Enjolras stood off to the side, watching with a smile on his face as Thierry twirled Jehan around. He didn't care because he wasn't the jealous type, plus he trusted Thierry and he knew that Jehan had his sights set on Courfeyrac. Jehan and Thierry parted when Jehan went off to dance with Courfeyrac as Thierry made his way to Enjolras._

_Thierry reached for Enjolras' hand, but Enjolras shook his head._

_"Why not?" Thierry asked._

_"I don't dance, that's why." Enjolras told him._

_Thierry smiled. "Love, please. I want to dance with you."_

_Enjolras sighed. "Fine. But I don't want to dance here."_

_Enjolras grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together, and led him to the Captain's quarters._

_"Here? But there's no music." Thierry pointed out as he wrapped his arms around Enjolras._

_"Sure there is. The beat of your heart is music." Enjolras said as they started swaying. "Swaying counts as dancing, right?"_

_Thierry smiled at him. "It does."_

_They made their own music in the sound of their heartbeats, plus they could hear Joly's piccolo from above deck. The sounds of the water hitting the hull of the ship also helped in making music to dance too._

_"You got me to dance, are you happy now?" Enjolras asked his lover._

_"Of course, I am." Thierry told him. "Maybe one day, I can get you to dance in front of the rest of the crew."_

_Enjolras shook his head as he smiled up at him. "No, you won't."_

_Thierry leaned down to press a kiss to Enjolras's lips. When they pulled away, Enjolras his head on Thierry's shoulder. Thierry kissed his forehead._

_Enjolras pressed a kiss to Thierry's neck before saying, "I love you."_

_"I love you, too." Thierry replied._

_Enjolras' fingers slowly made their way to the hem of Thierry's shirt and slipped underneath. He brought his hand up Thierry's chest and caressed his nipple causing Thierry to hiss. He pulled out of Thierry's arms to place his hands on his shirt and lifted up. Their eyes never leaving each other's. Thierry lifted his arms to let Enjolras pull the shirt over his head. Thierry, in turn, removed Enjolras' before pulling him into his arms again, skin against skin. Thierry cupped Enjolras' face with both hands and pulled his lips to his. Their tongues battled for dominance as they kissed. Thierry's hands found their into Enjolras' curls as Enjolras' snaked around his waist. Thierry pulled away from Enjolras' mouth to kiss his neck and leave bites all over it. Enjolras' eyes slipped closed and he arched his neck to allow Thierry access to it._

_"Thierry…" Enjolras breathed out._

_Thierry pulled away from Enjolras' neck to look into his lover's eyes only seeing desire and love. He now understood Enjolras' intention when he brought him down here. He pushed him toward their bed. Enjolras fell back against the mattress, he wrapped his legs around Thierry's waist. Thierry grinded against Enjolras to cause friction as he placed Enjolras' arms and hands above his head as he kissed down his chest. Enjolras' hands fell to Thierry's head as he licked up his chest._

_Thierry's fingers found the button of his lover's pants, he pulled them off of Enjolras before removing his own. Thanking every entity there was for Enjolras' refusal to wear any type of undergarment. Thierry's eyes darkened with lust once he saw his lover's cock. He moved down his lover's, body, so he could take the cock into his mouth._

_Enjolras' head arched back as he felt Thierry's mouth around him. His fingers clutched the sheets. "Fuck…" he sighed._

_Thierry hummed as he sucked Enjolras' cock, sending a vibration through Enjolras. Thierry's head bobbed as he took more and more into his mouth. His tongue licked up the vein and swirled the tip in his mouth. He pulled his mouth to just the tip and sucked on it._

_"Oh, god. Thierry…please." Enjolras begged his lover. "Your mouth. Feels so good." Thierry's hand went around the bottom of his cock and started to pump his hand as he sucked at the tip. Enjolras could feel the hot, white, desire hit him as his stomach started to clench. One more pump of Thierry's hand had cum releasing into Thierry's mouth. Enjolras moaned as he felt Thierry swallow every inch of cum up._

_Once that was done, Thierry moved back to kiss Enjolras' lips, letting his lover taste himself as his tongue explored Thierry's mouth._

_"Fuck me. Thierry, please, fuck me." Enjolras pulled away to kiss down Thierry's neck as he begged his lover to fuck him. "You know how I love it when you make me come undone."_

_Thierry nodded as he grabbed the bottle of oil. Enjolras spread his legs to allow Thierry access to his entrance. He dumped a little oil on his fingers before pushing a finger inside of Enjolras. Thierry felt Enjolras' insides constrict as he worked the finger inside of him. Enjolras bit his lip to stop from crying out._

_"Oh, no. No biting of that lip, I want to hear you, my love." Thierry urged of Enjolras as he hooked a finger inside causing Enjolras to scream so loud the crew no doubt heard it._

_Enjolras did his best to fuck himself on Thierry's finger, but just the one finger wasn't enough. "More, Thierry. I need more."_

_"Anything, my darling." Thierry said as he pressed a kiss to one of Enjolras' nipples before biting it causing Enjolras to hiss. Thierry pulled the finger of to add more oil before pushing back in with two. Enjolras' fingers clutched the sheets turning his knuckles white._

_"Oh, my God. Thierry!" Enjolras screamed as the fingers moved._

_Thierry smiled as he watched Enjolras wiggle underneath him. "You look so beautiful like this." He leaned forward to kiss his neck. "Calling out for me, the beautiful moans that are released from that gorgeous mouth that I could kiss all day if I could. There's nothing more beautiful than knowing that I'm the only one who will ever see you like this. You're mine, Enj."_

_"Only yours." Enjolras breathed out. "No one else's. Ever."_

_Thierry entered another finger and worked all three towards Enjolras' prostate. When he reached it, pleasure zipped through Enjolras._

_"Fuck!" Enjolras arched his back. "Thierry! Please! Just fuck me! I need you to fuck me."_

_Thierry pulled out his fingers causing Enjolras to whine as the loss. "Anything, my love." He slicked his cock up before lining himself up with Enjolras' entrance. He slowly pushed the tip inside. Enjolras wrapped his legs tighter around his lover. Enjolras let out a delicious moan as he felt the tip enter him. Thierry teased him with the tip for a few minutes._

_"Thierry, stop teasing and just fuck me." Enjolras commanded._

_Thierry smiled as he kissed Enjolras. "As you wish."_

_He pushed further in. Enjolras' eyes slipped closed as the gorgeous cock of his lover stretched him. He wrapped his arms around Thierry's chest. Once, he was fully sheathed, Thierry looked at Enjolras and waited for his nod to move._

_Enjolras nodded quickly. "I don't understand why you keep asking. I think me begging you to fuck me is more than enough consent to move." He said as Thierry pulled out before pushing back in._

_"I know, but I just want to make sure that you still want it by the time you're ready." Thierry removed a curl from Enjolras' forehead._

_Enjolras smiled up at him. "It is. I always want you. Now, please stop talking and fuck me."_

_"You started talking first." Thierry teased causing Enjolras to stick out his tongue which in turn Thierry took as invitation to kiss him. As their tongues fought for dominance, Thierry continued his pace._

_When they pulled apart, Thierry sucked at Enjolras' neck before placing kisses up and down it. "Never will I forget how it feels to have you wrapped around me." As he pushed inside again._

_Enjolras smiled before taking Thierry's arms and flipped them without the cock slipping out of him. Thierry smiled up at him as Enjolras placed his hands on Thierry's chest as he moved up and down on Thierry's cock. A look of pure ecstasy on his face._

_"You're a little menace, aren’t you?" Thierry commented as Enjolras smiled, wickedly. The locket he had given Enjolras moving with his body._

_Enjolras set a smooth pace as he moved. Thierry let out moans as his hands went to Enjolras' hips. "Faster!" Thierry let out. Enjolras quickened the pace. Thierry looked at his lover, who nodded. Thierry started thrusting inside of Enjolras as he moved._

_Enjolras let out a loud moan and the only sounds in the room were their moans, groans, sighs, and the sound of skin slapping against skin._

_When Enjolras could feel his stomach start to clench, Thierry flipped them back over. Enjolras wrapped his legs around his lover's waist._

_"Faster! Please, faster. Harder!" Enjolras begged._

_Thierry's pace drastically changed. He completely pulled out before pounding back in._

_"Yes! Just like that! Keep going! Fuck me!" Enjolras told him as his nails dug into Thierry's back. Thierry kept moving until he hit the prostate. "Oh, god! Right there! Fuck me, right there!" Thierry did as he was told as he drove inside of Enjolras, so that they he was hitting the prostate every couple of thrusts. "I can feel it! Thierry! Touch me! Please touch me!" Enjolras begged as Thierry wrapped his hand around his love's cock. He pumped his hand in time with his thrusts._

_"YES! Yes! Thierry!" Enjolras screamed as white, hot cum started dripping from his cock onto Thierry's chest and hand._

_Thierry continued to move to help him ride it out. Enjolras let out a sigh as his lover continued to move. When Thierry's orgasm hit, Enjolras could feel his lover's cock pulse inside of him. Once they were done, Thierry pulled out and rolled over next to him. He licked off every drop of cum that had spilled from Enjolras' cock. Enjolras moved to rest his head on Thierry's sweaty and hot chest. They were always dripping in sweat after they had sex._

_"You always fuck me, so well." Enjolras smiled at his love._

_Thierry smiled at him. "Well, I would think so. We've had a lot of sex, so I know all the spots that drive my lover crazy."_

_Enjolras blushed before he kissed Thierry, deeply._

Enjolras pulled out of the memory, feeling all of sudden very warm and his pants growing tighter. He remembered that night very fondly, but it was also a very big punch to the gut. Any memory of Thierry was.

He looked down at the locket before realizing that someone was standing next to him.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Grantaire asked.

Enjolras shook his head before walking away and back down to the Captain's quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next two on Friday, and it's beginning to really pick up now!


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I sadly don't own anything, but the plot.

The next morning, while Grantaire was doing his daily chore of mopping up the deck, Enjolras had come up from below deck to take his place at the helm. Grantaire knew for a fact that he hadn't eaten. He finished up the chore before going down to the galley. He saw Combeferre and Joly talking as he made his way down and toward the leftover breakfast.

"What are you doing?" Joly asked.

"Getting our esteemed Captain some food." Grantaire told them.

The other two looked at each other, knowing that this is something that Thierry used to do.

"Um…R, I do not think that that's a good idea." Combeferre told him.

Grantaire still continued to pile food on a plate before looking up. "Why not? I'm sure you've all noticed that he barely eats." They nod. "I get that he's still mourning for Thierry, but that doesn’t give him an excuse not to eat. I will get him to, even if I have to force the food down his throat."

Combeferre and Joy continued to protest, but Grantaire wasn't having any of it. He instead picked up the plate and walked out of the galley. He walked up to the deck to where Enjolras was standing at the helm. Grantaire was only giving him cheese and salted meat, but it was better than nothing. He set the plate in front of Enjolras.

Enjolras looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What is that?"

"Breakfast." Grantaire told him.

Enjolras gave the plate back to Grantaire. "Well, I'm not hungry."

"I don't care whether you're hungry or not. You're eating." Grantaire placed the plate back down.

Enjolras looked at him like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're going to tell me what to do on my ship?" He asked Grantaire.

Given the look on Enjolras' face, Grantaire was definitely up for a challenge. "Yes." He crossed his arms.

"I can toss you off the ship." Enjolras threatened through clinched teeth as he looked away from him.

Grantaire chuckled. "Oh, you could, but here's the beauty of it, you won't."

Enjolras looked at him. "How do you know?"

"Because I know you. Broken hearted Captain, lost the man he loved, finds wallowing to be the only way to get through the day." Grantaire said.

Enjolras glared at him, but didn't reply.

"I also know that not eating and doing nothing, but wallowing isn't something that Thierry would want. I guess, it's your choice. What do I know? I'm nothing, but an orphan." Grantaire told him.

Enjolras' glared softened at the mention of him being an orphan, but when he didn't make a move to eat, Grantaire pushed the food toward him.

"I told you that I'm not hungry." Enjolras told him.

Grantaire refused to move from where he was standing. "I'm not leaving until you eat."

"Fine." Enjolras said. He grabbed the block of cheese, took a bite, before throwing it back on the plate, and handing the plate to Grantaire. "Now, leave me alone."

Grantaire nodded before walking away. He noticed the crew all watching in disbelief. He smiled slyly at them before bringing the food back to the galley.

Jehan hid his smile. As he had watched what just happened it had solidified what he already knew. That Grantaire was the key to unlocking Enjolras' heart.

As Enjolras watched Grantaire walk away with the plate of food, he rolled his eyes. He knew that Grantaire had the ability to get under his skin, but he was determined not to let that happen.

However, in the weeks that followed, Enjolras found himself eating those words because getting under his skin was exactly what Grantaire ended up doing.

***

Over the course of the next few weeks, Grantaire did everything he possibly could to get Enjolras to eat, roll his eyes, yell, scream. Anything as long as it got him talking. And by some miracle got him to laugh and smile. He also tried to get Enjolras to join their friends in their random dance circles, but he still refused.

As the crew watched what was happening, they were taken aback by the change that occurred in the Captain.

Grantaire was pretty proud of himself until one day when they were docked and he saw Enjolras with two little children. One of them no more than five and the other looked only about three. They weren't lost (their mother was five feet away), but when they saw Enjolras, they ran to him, asking if he was a real pirate. Enjolras smiled down at them before saying that he wasn't a pirate, just a sailor. They asked him if they could tell them a story. Enjolras glanced up at their mother, who was waiting for them. Enjolras told the children that he would, but their mother was waiting for them. The children were reluctant to go until he gave them both a seashell from his pouch. The smile on the children's faces cause Enjolras to smile, a smile that melted Grantaire's heart. It was that moment that he realized what was happening.

He was falling in love with his Captain.

Grantaire wanted to hit himself upside the head because of course, he'd fall for the one that would never even give him the light of day.

Little did he know, however, was that Enjolras didn't hate him. In fact, Enjolras enjoyed his company and saw him as friend. He had also, though he would never admit to himself or anyone else, grown incredibly attracted to Grantaire.

***

In the weeks since Grantaire's realization in the village, he had started to avoid Enjolras. Something that Enjolras had noticed, but he couldn't figure out for the life of him what he had done to cause that to happen.

The rest of the crew waited with baited breath as they waited for something to snap between the two, but as more days passed that never happened. They just noticed that Grantaire did he best to avoid the Captain.

Jehan was the one that confronted Grantaire about what the hell was going on with him.

"Nothing." Grantaire said, taking a swig of rum.

Jehan crossed his arms. "Right. Why have you all of sudden started to avoid Enjolras? Did something happen?"

"No, everything's fine with Enjolras. It's me." Grantaire told his friend.

"What do you mean?" Jehan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I mean that I think that I'm falling in love with Enjolras." Grantaire told him.

Jehan had to keep from squealing. "Why is that such a bad thing?"

"Because I wasn't supposed to fall in love, that's why." Grantaire explained.

Jehan sighed. "You're being ridiculous. Love is a beautiful thing."

"Not for me." Grantaire told him. Jehan looked confused before he explained. "I'm an orphan, Jehan. My parents and sister all died in a fire, and for some reason that even I don't understand, I was able to make it out. Since then, I've been on my own. Going around from place to place. Then, I came on this ship and it all changed, but of all the things that were supposed to happen. Falling in love wasn't one of them."

Jehan hugged Grantaire before placing his hands on his shoulders. "Hey, maybe falling in love is just what you need. Maybe you need Enjolras, just as much as he needs you."

"He doesn't need me." Grantaire shrugged.

"Oh, yeah, before a few weeks ago, the man barely ate. Let alone smiled. Now, he smiles all the time, and it's all because of you." Jehan told his friend.

Grantaire sighed, but he didn't respond. He just looked over to where Enjolras was laughing with Feuilly and Joly on the other side of the ship.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nope!

Enjolras sat with the other members in the galley that night, smiling, laughing, and having a merry old time for the first time in what felt like forever. Grantaire was sitting a table over, drinking rum and playing dice with Joly and Bossuet. Enjolras' eyes found Grantaire, but before anyone could notice, he pulled his gaze away. The attraction that he felt towards Grantaire grew a little bit every day, but he did his best to push it away. Enjolras had made a promise to Thierry and he was determined to keep it.

Courfeyrac and Jehan had already headed to bed, Marius and Cosette soon followed. Feuilly was playing a drinking game with Bahorel and Éponine. Musichetta was waiting for Joly and Bossuet to be done with their game. Combeferre was up at the helm.

After a few more moments, Enjolras stood up and excused himself for the night. He went up on deck and looked at the stars. The sky was clear that night. The stars and moon were bright. Enjolras reached for the locket and was just about to open it to see the inscription inside when he noticed someone standing beside him. He looked over and saw Grantaire.

"What's written inside?" He asked gesturing to the locket.

Enjolras let it fall against his chest. "Nothing you need to know. The only two people that will ever know what's inside is me and the person who gave it to me."

Grantaire didn't reply because he didn't need to. He knew very well that Enjolras was being serious.

"So, why aren't you with the rest?" Enjolras asked.

Grantaire shrugged. "In the time that you left and the time I came up, we finished our game and 'Chetta told Joly and Bossuet that it was time for bed. Bahorel was out cold when I left. Éponine and Feuilly were not very far behind Bahorel."

Enjolras chuckled before turning to face Grantaire. "You're not tired."

"No. Even if I was, I'm up half the night anyway." Grantaire told him.

Enjolras looked concerned. "Why?"

"Because of nightmares, most of the time."

"Nightmares about what?" Enjolras asked.

Grantaire sighed. "My parents. My sister. They died in a fire a few months back. We were all sleeping in our home when I woke up to the smell of smoke and the sound of roaring flames. I woke everyone up, but something must have happened because the next thing I remember is waking up in our neighbor's home. No recollection of what happened and no family. I've been on my own since."

"I'm sorry, Grantaire." Enjolras told him.

Grantaire shrugged. "I'm alright. The nightmares are mostly just the memory of the fire."

Enjolras nodded. "Well, if you need help falling asleep, I know Joly has some sleeping powders you could try. I've used them before."

"Thanks." Grantaire said.

"You're welcome." Enjolras said.

They stared out at the ocean for a while. Grantaire looked up at the sky.

"Does a sailor really know all the constellations?" Grantaire asked.

Enjolras followed his gaze to the sky. "I don't, but my father had. He taught me most, but not all. There's the Cygnus." He pointed to the seven star constellation. "Then, the Great Bear and Little Bear." He pointed out both constellations. "However, the most important star for a sailor is the Polaris, also known as the North Star." Enjolras pointed it out. "It's the star that guides sailors. If you're ever lost, look for that star, and you'll find your way home." He told Grantaire.

Grantaire continued to look at the stars when he saw a shooting star. "Look a shooting star."

Enjolras looked up and saw the tail end of its fall. "My father used to tell me that a shooting star was a fallen sailor going to Heaven."

"Are we supposed to wish on it?" Grantaire asked.

Enjolras shrugged. "I guess. If we are, what would you wish for?"

Grantaire looked at Enjolras before saying. "Something that I can't have."

They stared into each other's eyes. Sky blue orbs gazing into forest green ones. Both of them could feel a pull between them. They leaned forward and before they knew it, their lips were on each other's. Their lips moved against each others in a very passionate kiss. Enjolras opened his mouth and allowed Grantaire's tongue to slip inside his mouth. It wasn't until the sound of a bird flying over caused them to pull away from each other.

"I'm sorry. I can't – I can't do this." Enjolras said before walking away.

Grantaire looked disappointed, but knew that it was probably for the best. He looked back out to the sea before shaking his head. He went below deck to go to bed. He grabbed his sketchbook once he was settle, but set the sketchbook down when he couldn't come up with anything to draw. Grantaire did his best to fall asleep, but all he could think about was Enjolras' lips on his.

***

In the Captain's quarters, Enjolras closed his eyes. He touched his lips and remembered the feeling of Grantaire's lips on them. He looked down at his locket. Enjolras felt a tear roll down his cheek before quickly wiping it away and finding composure again.

"I'm sorry, Thierry." He whispered before he got ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses on what's inside the locket?
> 
> See you all again for chapters 8 and 9 on Monday!


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still not mine.

The next morning was filled with tension surrounding the air whenever Grantaire and Enjolras were near each other. Grantaire spent the day doing the chores that he was assigned on the ship. Not saying a word to any of his friends. He simply moped around the ship. Jehan tried to get him to talk, but Grantaire waved him off.

Enjolras wasn't fairing any better. He went around the ship, barking orders, and generally being cold to everyone. Combeferre and Courfeyrac tried to talk to him about what was wrong, but he glared at them which silenced them.

Later that night, Grantaire sat on the side of the ship, his sketchbook in his hands. Enjolras approached him, quietly.

"You're not going to run away again, are you?" Grantaire asked, still looking down at the sketchbook.

"I'm sorry about last night, Grantaire. The kiss was…it was…" Enjolras trailed off.

"A mistake?" Grantaire said.

Enjolras shook his head. "I don't know what it was."

Grantaire closed the sketchbook and got off the edge. "You don't owe me an explanation, Enjolras." He started walking toward the door that would lead to the barracks.

"Okay, but I…" Enjolras stopped talking and instead walked toward Grantaire and kissed him.

Grantaire returned the kiss without any hesitation. Enjolras' fingers found their way into Grantaire's hair. Grantaire's arms wrapped around his waist. Enjolras opened his mouth and Grantaire's tongue slipped inside. Their tongues battled for dominance as their shuffled towards the door of the Captain's quarters. Enjolras pulled away to open the door to his quarters and he made his way down the steps, followed by Grantaire. Grantaire set his sketchbook on the table and before he knew it, Enjolras' mouth was on his again.

Grantaire cupped Enjolras' cheek with one hand and his waist with the other as they made their way to Enjolras' bed. They fell onto the bed with a thump. They continued to kiss as they desperately removed each other's clothing.

Enjolras hadn't had sex since the morning of Thierry's death. He mostly used his hand whenever he needed to get off now. He was desperate to feel someone's cock fill him and move inside of him.

Grantaire had only had sex with a few times before with one of the barmaids who worked at the tavern in Castlebury. However, this would be the first time he had had sex with another man. He was going to be having sex with Enjolras. The first person, and probably the last, that he would ever fall in love with.

Enjolras pushed Grantaire's pants as far as he could before Grantaire removed them the rest of the way. Enjolras' eyes dilated at the sight of Grantaire's gorgeous cock. He wanted it inside of him and he wanted it now.

"Grantaire, please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me." Enjolras said. He desperately searched for the vial of oil. He handed it to Grantaire after finding it before spreading his legs. Grantaire opened it up and poured some on his fingers.

Grantaire pushed a finger into Enjolras' entrance. Enjolras sighed at the feeling as Grantaire moved the fingers around inside him. Enjolras brought Grantaire's mouth down to his in a hard kiss.

"More, Grantaire! I need more." Enjolras whined. Grantaire pulled his fingers out and added more oil. He pushed two fingers back in. Enjolras moaned as they scissored inside of him. "Yes! Oh, my God! Yes!"

Grantaire smiled because he absolutely loved how vocal Enjolras was during sex. He was determined to hear more of the delicious moans that he made. He continued his fingers movement, and it didn't take Enjolras long before he was begging him to add the third finger.

"Please, just add another finger. Stretch me for gorgeous cock." Enjolras begged. Grantaire added in a third finger next to the other two and started fingering Enjolras with three fingers. Enjolras' back arched as he screamed with maddened pleasure. His knuckles were white from holding onto the sheets.

"Fuck!" Enjolras told his partner. Grantaire's fingers brushed his prostate, and pleasure whipped through him. "Grantaire, please. I want your cock inside of me! Now!"

Grantaire quickly pulled his fingers out and grabbed the vial. He poured oil over his cock. Enjolras spread his legs even further as Grantaire lined himself up with Enjolras' hole. As Grantaire pushed in, Enjolras' legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed, further and further until he was fully sheathed inside of Enjolras.

"Yes! Finally!" Enjolras moaned. "Fucking move, please."

Grantaire set a pace. Pulling out and then pushing back inside of Enjolras. Enjolras let out the most perfect screams and moans.

"Fuck! Yes! Grantaire! Harder! Fuck me!" Enjolras begged as he dug his nails into Grantaire's back and his heels into his ass.

Grantaire picked up the speed to thrust into his lover a little faster and harder. "You feel perfect wrapped around me, my Captain."

Enjolras smiled up at him before he kissed him. When they pulled away, Enjolras spoke again. "No more talking. Just fuck me! Please. Harder. Faster. Deeper. I need you so much deeper."

Grantaire changed his pace again. He started pounding into Enjolras with as much force as he could muster that it still gave his Captain what he wanted, but didn't hurt him.

"Yes! Perfect! Just like this!" Enjolras told him.

All Grantaire could hear was the sound of skin slapping against skin as he fucked Enjolras as hard and fast as he could, the moans and screams coming from Enjolras, and his own heavy breathing.

"Oh, fuck! Fuck! You feel so good, Grantaire!" Enjolras moaned with his eyes closed.

Enjolras was completely blinded by the pleasure of having someone fuck him that any word to describe the pleasure fell from his mouth. Grantaire knew how to fuck and it felt so good.

Grantaire was holding back his own moans and groans. Sex with Enjolras was euphoric. When he had sex with the barmaids, it never felt like this. This was magnificent. Enjolras knew the perfect sounds to make with every thrust of his hips.

Enjolras pulled Grantaire down to kiss him. They continued to kiss as Enjolras found Grantaire's hand to place it around his cock. He said into Grantaire's mouth. "Touch me. Please. I'm almost there."

Grantaire matched his strokes with his thrusts. Enjolras' moans were so loud that they were sure the other members on the ship could hear them.

Enjolras clung to the sheets as he slowly reached his peak. "Yes! More! Please, more!"

It only took a few more thrusts before Enjolras' cock was dripping cum all over their chests, Grantaire's hand, and the sheets. Enjolras sighed in content as Grantaire helped him ride out his orgasm.

"You sure know how to fuck someone into oblivion, Monsieur Grantaire." Enjolras said. Grantaire leaned down to kiss him again. Grantaire thrusted gently into Enjolras to reach his own orgasm. Grantaire came with a groan and released cum into Enjolras. Enjolras whined in pleasure as he felt Grantaire's cum release inside of him.

Grantaire slowly pulled out of Enjolras and rolled onto the other side of him.

"How did you get so good at that?" Enjolras asked as he stared at the ceiling.

Grantaire shrugged. "I would sleep with the barmaids of the tavern. I learned fairly quickly, you could say. However, that was my first time having sex with a man."

Enjolras leaned over to kiss him before laying back down on the bed. His eyes were beginning to droop. "You did a good job for a first time. You fucked me right to sleep." He said as he closed his eyes and fell asleep. Grantaire wasn't far behind him.

They fell asleep with cum and sweat still drying on their bodies.

***

The next morning, Enjolras awoke to the sun on his face. He didn't open his eyes yet, though. The only thing he was aware of was that something sticky had gotten stuck on his skin. He slowly opened his eyes only to realize that he was naked and the sticky substance on him was cum. He turned his head to see who it was that he had slept with.

Grantaire.

Then, the memories came rushing back of the night before. Kissing Grantaire, leading him down to the Captain's cabin, the removal of their clothing, the pleasure of having sex with Grantaire. He realized with a start that it hadn't been a dream. He really had had sex with Grantaire.

Enjolras quickly got out of the bed. He cleaned himself of cum before finding his pants and shirt. His hand found the locket and he felt tears start to form in his eyes. Thierry. Enjolras looked at his reflection in the mirror. Enjolras could think of nothing, but Thierry and how he had just betrayed him. He had promised himself that he would never have sex with another person. He had promised himself he would never be attracted to another person. Hell, or even have romantic feelings for another person. But now, he had just broken that promise.

Enjolras shook his head. He didn't have romantic feelings for Grantaire. He didn't. He couldn't. Their sleeping together was a moment of weakness. That was it. Nothing more

There was only one person in his life that his heart had room to love and that was Thierry. Thierry still owned his heart, and he always would. The night with Grantaire meant nothing to him. It was a mistake. A simply mistake.

That's what he needed to tell himself to keep himself sane.

***

Grantaire woke up an hour later with a smile on his face as the memory of the night before came back to him. He opened his eyes, only to that Enjolras wasn't lying next to him, but instead stood next to the window, already dressed.

Grantaire stood up to grab his pants. He put his pants back on before walking over to Enjolras. He wrapped his arms around his waist and started kissing his neck.

Enjolras stiffened when he felt the arms around his waist and lips on his neck. He crossed his arms as he pulled away from Grantaire. A stern look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Grantaire asked.

"This is what's wrong?" Enjolras told Grantaire as he gestured between them.

"I don't understand. Last night…" Grantaire started.

"Last night was a mistake, Grantaire. It was something that happened in the heat of the moment." Enjolras told him through gritted teeth.

Grantaire shook his head. "I don't believe you. You feel something for me. I know you do."

"I feel nothing for you. Nothing. I will never feel anything for you. I have only ever loved one person and he's the only person I will ever love." Enjolras said. Forcing himself to believe it with every fiber of his being. "I was using you, Grantaire. I wanted sex from someone and you were the most willing. That is all." The words tasting like poison as Enjolras continued to force himself to believe every word.

Grantaire looked at Enjolras. He could tell that while his mouth was saying one thing his eyes were saying something completely different.

"You need to go." Enjolras told him. "Now."

Grantaire finished getting dressed before walking back up the steps. Enjolras had turned away while he had gotten dressed. He didn't even hear Grantaire leave the room.

One single tear fell from Enjolras' eye, but he quickly wiped it away as if it had never been there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, it's time to buckle up because it's going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions from here until the end.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nope, sadly.

A few hours later, Enjolras still hadn't emerged from his room. The crew had seen Grantaire leave the room that morning, but he hadn’t spoken to any of them about what had happened. Instead, they had watched Grantaire work around the ship and once his chores were done, he went down to the crew's quarters and they hadn't seen him seen. The crew knew something must have happened between their Captain and him, but they also knew better than to ask either of them.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac wanted to go down and see if Enjolras was already, but when he got like this, they never knew what mood they would receive. Joly and Bossuet wanted to go and check on Grantaire, but they figured that their friend would talk to them when he was ready.

But the next day, it was the same thing. Enjolras didn't come up from below deck and Grantaire went about moping around the ship again.

And it continued like that for days until Combeferre and Courfeyrac had enough. They went down to try and talk to Enjolras, who was sitting at his desk, writing in the log.

"What do you want?" Enjolras asked, his voice filled with ice.

"We want to know what happened with Grantaire." Courfeyrac said as he sat down across from Enjolras.

Enjolras turned back to look at the log. "Nothing happened."

Combeferre crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Are you really going to play that game? You haven't been up on deck for five days. Grantaire won't say a word to anybody. Something happened."

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about." Enjolras told them.

Courfeyrac sighed before grabbing the log away from Enjolras' grip. "You're going to start talking."

"Seriously? What is this? An intervention? I don't have to tell you anything." Enjolras told them, pushing the chair back and walking over to the window. His hand gripping his locked so tightly that he could feel it imprinting into this hand.

"You're not getting out of telling us, so you might as well just tell us." Courfeyrac told him.

Enjolras sighed. "I slept with Grantaire. There. I told you. Goodbye."

"No, that's not all. What happened, Enjolras?" Combeferre asked again

"I told Grantaire that it was a mistake and that I don't feel anything for him." Enjolras explained.

"But that's not true, is it?" Combeferre asked, but Enjolras didn't dignify the question with an answer.

"Enjolras, you know this isn't what Thierry-" Courfeyrac started before being cut off by Enjolras.

"Don't!" Enjolras whipped around to shout at his friend.

Courfeyrac closed his mouth, tightly.

"But Courf has a point, Enj." Combeferre said.

Enjolras rolled his eyes. "I don't care. You know what happened, you can go now." He gestured toward the door.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac looked at each other, and then at Enjolras. They sighed before leaving the room.

***

Joly and Bossuet walked down to the place where the crew slept. They made their way toward Grantaire's clock. He was sitting on the cot, sketching.

"I don't want to talk about it, so don't even both asking." Grantaire said without looking up at them.

Joly sighed. "You have to talk about it at some point."

Grantaire scoffed. "Guess what, Joly? I haven't been talking about a lot of things since I was 15. I'm very good at not talking about things until they need to be talked about."

"Oh, so the fact that you're in love with Enjolras, but he's not in love with you, doesn't need talking about?" Bossuet asked.

Grantaire glared at both of them. "I don't want to talk about it."

Joly and Bossuet both held up their hands in surrender and stood up to leave him to his sketching. Bossuet started walking back to the ladder that would take them above deck. Joly stayed, so he could say one last thing to Grantaire.

"Look, Grantaire, Enjolras is a complicated man to love. God knows that we've all wanted to murder him at one point or another, but don't give up on him, yet, okay?"

Grantaire looked at him before nodding.

***

The next day, Enjolras emerged from his room while Grantaire was mopping up the deck. They made eye contact, but neither made a move toward the other. Instead, Enjolras went back to ignoring Grantaire's existence. Grantaire looked at Enjolras with longing eyes as he walked away from him. The crew watched them both with aching hearts.

But none of them were ready for the hurricane of emotions that was upon them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you on Wednesday! We're only just getting started.
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Enjolras stood at the wheel when Jehan walked up to him. The Captain saw him approach out of the corner of his eye.

"I don't want to talk about it, Jehan." Enjolras said before Jehan could even say a word.

"You don't even know what I was going to say." Jehan told him as he crossed his arms.

"You were going to talk to me about Grantaire." Enjolras replied.

Jehan sighed. "Alright, you caught me."

"And like I said, I don't want to talk about it."

"I get that, but whether you want to or not, you're eventually going to have to. Whether that's with me or 'Ferre or Courf. Or hell, even Grantaire." Jehan told him.

Enjolras didn't say anything instead he just kept his mouth shut.

Jehan sighed again. "Enj, I know that you loved Thierry-"

Enjolras turned to him and glared. "Please, don't."

"Then, I won't." Jehan held his hands up in surrender. "But I want you to think about something. This isn't something that he would want. He'd want you to be happy."

Enjolras didn't reply to what Jehan said, instead he looked down at the locket before he sighed. He shrugged.

"Just think about it." Jehan said before walking away to go join the other crew members.

Enjolras watched his friend walk away from him. He turned back to watch the sea while his mind drifted to the night that he and Thierry first said, "I love you".

_Enjolras sat at the desk in the Captain's quarters. Thierry was up on the deck, playing dice with their friends. Enjolras hadn't been happy when he decided to stay up there inside of coming down here with him, but Thierry was his own person. He made his own decisions._

_But it still hurt because Enjolras had planned something special for Thierry. They had only been together for three months, and that night would be the first time that Enjolras ever said "I love you" to Thierry. But instead of being with him, his lover would rather be playing a stupid game._

_It was another hour when Enjolras heard footsteps coming down the stairs, but he was already laying down on the bed. Thierry looked in that direction, only to see that his lover was asleep. He quickly removed his clothes before crawling in next to Enjolras. He wrapped his arm around his lover, who pulled away from him._

_When Enjolras acted like this, he knew something was wrong._

_"Love, what did I do?" Thierry asked._

_Enjolras shrugged and didn't bother with a reply. He just continued facing the wall._

_"I know I did something, what's wrong?" Thierry asked._

_Enjolras sat up. "The fact that you even have to ask makes this even better. Think really hard. I asked you to come down here with me, but you decided to…"_

_"Stay up there." Thierry finished._

_"Yes." Enjolras said. Hurt visible in his eyes. "I had something planned, but I guess being with our friends was more important."_

_"That is not true." Thierry told him. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. Enjolras, you mean more to me than anything on this planet. I mean, I love you." Thierry admitted for the first time._

_Enjolras looked at him, tears in his eyes. "I wanted to say it first." Thierry looked at him. "I love you, too."_

_Thierry looked at him. "Was that the big surprise? Telling me that you love me?" Enjolras nodded. "Oh, love." Thierry cupped his face before smiling at him and pressing a kiss to his lover's lips. "I'm sorry."_

_"It's alright. I forgive you. I love you, Thierry. And hearing you say it sealed the deal. You're_ it _for me." Enjolras confessed._

_"Alright, love, let's not get ahead of ourselves." Thierry kissed his cheek._

_"I'm not getting ahead of myself. I'm serious. You are it for me. There's never going to be anyone else."_

_Thierry looked at Enjolras and saw the sincerity in his eyes and knew that he couldn't say anything. Instead, he simply leaned forward to kiss Enjolras. Enjolras fell back against the mattress as they kissed._

_After they were done having sex, Thierry and Enjolras laid there, drenched in sweat, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing lazy kisses and touches._ _Enjolras' neck was covered in love bites from Thierry and he loved each and every one of them._

_Thierry smiled at him before kissing him again. "I love you."_

_"I love you, too." Enjolras said._

Enjolras was pulled out of the memory by the sounds of loud and angry voices. He looked over and saw Feuilly and Bahorel engaged in an argument. He couldn't hear what was being said, but it looked intense. His friends had their fair share of arguments, which was to be expected, but they also knew that it caused the ones in involved to take on extra duties.

He waved Courfeyrac over to take over the wheel, so that he could take of Feuilly and Bahorel. Enjolras walked over to where they were standing, but the argument halted once they saw him approaching.

"May I ask what the argument was about?" He asked both of them. They shook their heads. "I see. Well, you know the rule of what happens when you argue. Whichever ones are involved get tasked with more work, so Feuilly, you're on deck mopping duty taking Courfeyrac and Grantaire's turns for at least a week. They will have the next week off until your punishment is through. Bahorel, you'll be manning the wheel at night, taking Feuilly's turn as well as your own. You better make damn well sure that you get lots of sleep during the day. Like Feuilly, you do it for a week. Now, make up and get back to work." Enjolras told both of them.

"Yes, Captain." Both of them said in unison before getting back to their duties

Enjolras turned around and saw Grantaire standing off to the side. If there was one thing, he couldn't deal with right now. It was Grantaire. He walked away to go check on his other friends to make sure this his ship was still running in tip top shape.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Grantaire watched Enjolras with great tact. He made sure to do it when Enjolras wasn't paying attention. He knew that Enjolras felt something for him. He just knew it. He could tell in the way that Enjolras had kissed him the night that they had slept together. Enjolras was simply denying it because of Thierry.

Thierry.

Just the name alone set Grantaire's teeth on edge. With all the stories that he had heard of the man, no wonder Enjolras was fighting his feelings for Grantaire. His friends had adored him and Enjolras had been desperately in love with him.

But Grantaire still couldn't help the feeling of jealousy that occurred every time Thierry was mentioned. Even dead, he still had Enjolras' undying love and he had the crew's admiration. There was nothing that he could ever do to live up to that.

If Enjolras ever admitted to himself or to Grantaire that he did in fact love him, he knew that Enjolras' heart wouldn't be his completely. A little piece of his heart would always belong to Thierry. Grantaire could live with that. Obviously, the last thing he wanted was for Enjolras to forget about him. That was absolute last thing that he wanted. He just wanted Enjolras to understand that he couldn't just let his life pass him by because Thierry was no longer with him and blind to what was standing right in front of him.

He wanted Enjolras to talk to him, not necessarily about the night that they shared, but about anything. Grantaire, however, wasn't naïve enough to believe that would be happening anytime soon.

When Feuilly came to tell him that he had been taken off deck mopping duty for a week, he had been very confused, but Feuilly didn't say anything. He soon learned from Courfeyrac that whenever any of them had an argument with each other, both or whoever was involved, had to take on extra work. Feuilly's punishment for arguing with Bahorel was to take on cleaning duty for him and Courfeyrac, while they had been given the week off.

"Is this something that is in the sailor's handbook?" Grantaire asked.

Courfeyrac let out a laugh. "No, it's just something Enjolras decided to do when he started gathering a crew."

"I see." Grantaire said, turning his head toward the Captain, who was going over a map with Combeferre.

***

Later that night, Enjolras announced that they were heading to port to gather supplies and that they'd be staying overnight, the crew cheered in excitement.

The ship docked and the friends started to leave the ship. Combeferre had already gone through everything that they needed and had given the list to Enjolras. Grantaire made his way off the ship with Joly and Bossuet as they headed for the tavern.

Once they arrived, Bahorel ordered a round of drinks for the group, telling the man that was behind the counter to make sure they kept coming. Grantaire, who wasn't up for a drink that night, stayed in the back with his sketchbook.

He didn't see Enjolras arrive because he was too engrossed in his drawing, but he could feel somebody's stare on him and when he turned his head toward it, Grantaire realized that it hadn’t been Enjolras, but some man in the back with missing teeth and greasy, stringy hair. The man was smiling at him with a suggestive look on his face.

Grantaire felt uncomfortable, turned away from the man, and went back to his drawing. It didn't take long after that for the man to approach him with a drink in his hand.

"How about after you finish that pretty little drawing, you and I head up to one of the rooms and I fuck your brains out. You look like you like it a little rough. So, what do you say?" The man asked.

Grantaire scoffed. "Yeah…no." He closed the sketchbook, stood up, and turned to get away from the man. He felt the man grab his wrist painfully and jerk him back.

"No one ever turns down Babet." He hissed at Grantaire.

"Well, I just did. Now, let me go." Grantaire glared at the man.

Babet squeezed his wrist and Grantaire let out a wince.

All of a sudden, a head of blonde curls was at Grantaire's side, forcing Babet's fingers from his wrist.

"I suggest you let him go." Enjolras said.

Babet chuckled, evilly. "Oh, if it isn't Little Captain. How's your little play thing? Thierry, was it?"

Grantaire looked up at Enjolras. He saw his jaw clench in anger, but his eyes didn't leave Babet.

"I said let him go." Enjolras' voice was laced with venom.

"Oh, I don't know. How special is this one to you? Is he the new play thing? Not very handsome, is he? Maybe Montparnasse will kill him, just like he did with Thierry." Babet's dirty hand came up to Grantaire's face. In seconds, Enjolras' sword was next to Babet's hand.

"I said. Let. Him. Go." Enjolras' sword dug into Babet's wrist, deep enough to draw blood.

Babet let go of Grantaire. Enjolras moved to stand in front of him, blocking him from Babet's view. Babet smiled, evilly before turning away and leaving the tavern.

Enjolras turned toward Grantaire, grabbed him by the wrist, and pulled him outside. He pushed him against the side of the tavern wall before extensively checking to make sure he's alright.

"I'm fine. I'm fine, alright. He didn't hurt me." Grantaire told him, pulling his arms away from Enjolras.

Enjolras sighed. "I just had to make sure."

"Why?" Grantaire asked.

"Because he's part of the crew that killed Thierry, that's why." Enjolras said. "If they get to you…" He trailed off.

Grantaire looked up at him. "What? What were you going to say?"

"Nothing." Enjolras said, turning to walk away. Grantaire followed after him.

"No. I don't believe you. You were going to say something, now what the hell was it?" Grantaire said.

Enjolras looked at Grantaire before sighing. "Why can't you just drop it?"

"Because I don't believe in just dropping things. I'm not like you. I don't run away when things get tough." Grantaire said.

Enjolras glared. "Running is a lot easier than facing something that scares you, especially if you know that all it's going to do is bring you pain."

Grantaire sighed. "But running away doesn't solve anything. It's a lot easier to be able to talk to someone about it."

"Oh, yeah, like you've talked to someone about how you feel following the deaths of your parents and sister." Enjolras said. Grantaire glared at him. "Yeah, that's what I thought. How about you take your own goddamn advice." He started walking away again, Grantaire followed after him.

"You barely know a damn thing about me!" Grantaire told him.

"I know enough. You say that I'm an open book. You're just as easy to read. You have an act. The way you act with the rest of crew that is not who you truly are. The man I saw who gave me that drawing of my ship, that's who you really are. You're just too scared to show it. You know how I know because the man I saw that night had raw emotion in his eyes, not clouded over like he doesn't care about a damn thing!" Enjolras told him. "You're about as easy to read as you claim that I am."

"At least, I don't tell someone that I don't have feelings for them when clearly you feel something for me."

Enjolras glared at him, fire in his eyes. "I don't feel anything for you. I was in love once, and he died and my heart was ripped out. Nothing is ever going to repair it."

"Well, if it needs repairing that means that the damn thing still works." Grantaire said to him, standing toe to toe with him. Enjolras' glare grew colder before he turned and walked away. Grantaire watched him leave this time.

Enjolras continued walking, and once he was deep in the shadows, he took off in a sprint back to the ship. When he got into his quarters, he was breathing heavily and tears were treading down his cheeks. Enjolras walked to the dresser and swiped his hands over it, sending the contents crashing to the floor. He then did the same to his desk. Enjolras fell to his knees, screaming in frustration and pain.

"Thierry!" He screamed. "Why did you have to die? Why Grantaire? Why now? I never wanted to feel anything for anyone again." Enjolras placed his hands on the ground, shards of glass entered his hands, but he didn't care. He was numb to everything.

Enjolras' eyes found the locket, and he cried even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you all again on Friday!
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Another sexual scene between Enjolras and Thierry in this chapter.***
> 
> Disclaimer: Still don't own.

For the next two days, Enjolras didn't come up from his bedroom. He stayed in his bed, and after cleaning up his hand, his locket stayed clutched in it. Combeferre and Courfeyrac had come down with a tray of food, but Enjolras didn't eat it. When they tried to talk, he refused.

The entire time they were down there, Enjolras stared at the open locket in a daze. Courfeyrac tried to get close to see what was inside, but Enjolras would always hide it from view.

After they went upstairs, Enjolras found his mind drifting to the night Thierry had given it to him. The night of his 21st birthday.

_Today was Enjolras' birthday. His friends had a big celebration planned for their beloved Captain before he was whisked away by his lover for hot, passionate birthday sex. They all knew it was coming because Thierry had been looking at Enjolras with lust in his eyes all day, plus it had become their tradition ever since the two had gotten together._

_Enjolras stood with the rest of the crew as they toasted him with rum and a makeshift cake that Musichetta had made. They sang a drunken "Happy Birthday" before Thierry took Enjolras by the hand and led him down to their quarters._

_When they got down the steps, Enjolras' mouth was on his lover's before the door was ever closed. Thierry didn't respond causing a confused Enjolras to pull away._

_"What? No sex?" Enjolras asked with a pout._

_"Oh, no, we'll be having sex, but first I have a present for you." Thierry said, leading him to the bed._

_Enjolras sighed, sitting down. "But for the last two years, birthday sex is always my present from you."_

_"Well, this year you'll be getting two. Trust me, I would never let a birthday go by without making you writhe underneath me as you beg me to fuck you." Thierry said. "But like I said, I have one other present for you first._

_Thierry went to grab a small package from the chest at the end of the bed. He brought it back to Enjolras and sat on the bed. He grabbed his lover's hands before saying._

_"Enjolras, my love, you are my best friend. My life. The other half of my heart and soul. I love you, so much, that my life is meaningless without you. I promised you that we would have forever, and we will. I have loved you as a brother, as a friend, and now as a lover. Falling in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me. Happy birthday, my darling." Thierry kissed his hands before handing him the package._

_Enjolras took the package, suspiciously from his lover. He removed the makeshift ribbon and the paper to reveal a small beautiful box. "Thierry, it's gorgeous, but I don't understand."_

_"Open the box." Thierry told him as he waited patiently._

_Enjolras raised an eyebrow as he undid the clasp and opened the box to reveal a piece of silver with a chain on it. He took it out of the box. When he turned it over, he saw the initials, E+T, on it. Enjolras soon realized that it was a locket once he saw the clasp on the side. When he opened it, he saw a compass on the right side and on the left, it said: "The North Star will always point me back to you." Enjolras gasped after reading it._

_"_ _My mother's story." Enjolras exclaimed as he looked at Thierry with tears in his eyes._

_Thierry moved closer to him and took the locket from Enjolras' hand. "'And so the sailor said to his wife, "If you are ever lost and feel alone, just look up and find the North Star for wherever it is, is where I am. It will always point me back to you.' That story was always a favorite of mine. The first time I heard it, I wanted to have a love like the sailor and his wife. With you, Enjolras, I know that I have found that love. You are my North Star."_

_"And you're mine." Enjolras said. Thierry leaned forward to kiss Enjolras as he wiped away tears from his lover's eyes. When they pulled away, Enjolras looked up at his lover and said. "Will you put it on me?"_

_Thierry nodded as he undid the clasp. Enjolras turned around and moved his hair out of the way. Thierry put the necklace around his neck. The locket fell just below his heart. Enjolras looked down, grabbed the locket ,and opened it as he turned to face Thierry._

_"Did you make this?" Enjolras asked him._

_"I did. Well, part of it. I found the locket in a treasure chest. Then, I had a blacksmith place the compass inside when we were docked at port for a few days a couple of months ago. Then, I engraved our initials and the message." Thierry said, as his finger ran over the edge of the locket. "I also had the chain."_

_Enjolras took Thierry's hand in his hand and brought it to his lips. "I'm never removing it."_

_"Well, I should hope not. A Captain isn't supposed to go anywhere without his compass." Thierry teased._

_Enjolras cupped Thierry's face. "I love you."_

_"Happy birthday, my Enjolras." Thierry told him as he wrapped his arms around Enjolras' waist._

_Enjolras pulled him into a kiss. Their lips pressed against each other in a gently, loving, and caring way. Thierry's hands roamed around Enjolras' chest. Enjolras' hands fell into his lover's hair._

_Thierry lowered Enjolras to the bed as they continued to kiss. Enjolras loved this man with all his heart as Thierry pressed kisses down his jaw and neck._

_"Love." Enjolras sighed._

_"Hm…" Thierry said as he kissed him._

_"Make love to me. I know our tradition is hard and fast on my birthday, but…tonight, I want you to make love to me, slowly and lovingly." Enjolras told him._

_Thierry smiled down at him before pressing his lips against Enjolras' eyes, cheeks, and forehead. "Anything for the beautiful…" A kiss to his forehead, "…sexy…" A kiss to his eyelid, "…adorable…" A kiss to the tip of his nose causing Enjolras to giggle, "…Captain that is the love of my life." Thierry finally pressed a soft kiss to his lips._

_Thierry rubbed his thumb over Enjolras' cheek with such tenderness that Enjolras fell a little more in love with him. Thierry pulled Enjolras' puffy shirt up and Enjolras leaned forward to let him pull it off of him. Thierry's hand then moved over Enjolras' chest and played with his nipples before he leaned down to kiss Enjolras again._

_Enjolras grabbed Thierry's shirt and pulled it over his head. His legs wrapped around Thierry's waist. Thierry kissed his lover's neck and left another mark that would be very noticeable. The locket rested against Enjolras' skin._

_"God, there aren't enough words to describe how much I love you." Enjolras whispered into his lover's neck._

_Thierry pressed another kiss to his neck as his hands found the buckle of his pants. He pushed them down as far as he could before Enjolras had to kick them the rest of the way off. Thierry's hand wrapped around Enjolras' gorgeous cock and started to stroke as they continued to kiss._

_Enjolras moaned as his eyes slipped closed with his hands buried in the sheets of their bed. Thierry searched for the bottle of oil as he pumped his hand. When he found it, he pulled his hand away causing Enjolras to let out a whine. He began to open his lover up._

_"You know how much I hate it when you tease." Enjolras looked at Thierry through half-lidded eyes._

_"I know, but I can't help it. Riling you up, especially when we are in bed is just so fun, though." Thierry told him._

_Enjolras rolled his eyes after opening them. "You're definition of fun is very different than mine."_

_"Oh, you mean fun like this." Thierry massaged two of his fingers again Enjolras' prostate and his lover screamed with manic pleasure. "Oh, the sounds you make, my love." His fingers massaged his prostate again and Enjolras let out another scream. Thierry smiled before pressing a kiss to Enjolras' forehead._

_"Thierry, please! I need you. Fuck me." Enjolras pleaded._

_"Yes, my Captain, we'll get there. I just need to finish opening you up. I don't want to hurt you, my love." Thierry told him. "Besides, you asked me to make love to you, not simply fuck you."_

_"That was before I knew how torturous you were going to make this. All I can think of is your inside of me and how badly I want you." Enjolras told him._

_Thierry pushed a third finger inside of his lover to finish opening him up before slicking himself up and spreading Enjolras' legs open. He lined himself up with Enjolras' entrance before pushing in._

_"Oh, yes!" Enjolras moaned as Thierry slid inside of him_

_Once, he was fully sheathed inside of his lover and Enjolras was comfortable, Thierry started moving. Pulling out before driving back in fast, and then doing the same thing again, this time more slowly. A pace which soon drove Enjolras mad._

_"Oh, yes, Thierry! Fuck!" Enjolras moaned as his lover moved inside of him. He placed his hands on Thierry's shoulders._

_"You feel so wonderful, my love. God, I love this feeling. Your tight heat all wrapped around me. I could do this for hours." Thierry whispered into Enjolras' ear._

_Enjolras wrapped his hands around Thierry's wrists and without much strength, he flipped them. Thierry's cock never leaving Enjolras. Enjolras sunk down on his cock, letting it go deeper, much deeper. He placed his hand on Thierry's chest as he moved up, and then slowly back down._

_"My menace is at it again. Come on, darling!" Thierry told him. One of his hands rested on his lover's hip, while the other rested on his leg._

_Enjolras picked up his pace. He pulled completely off of Thierry before sinking back down. He continued with that pace until he was ready for Thierry to move with him. "Move, Thierry! I need you to move."_

_Thierry started moving his hips up at the same time Enjolras came to allow his cock to go deeper than what it was._

_"YES!" Enjolras screamed. "Keep fucking me. Just like this._

_They continued like that for what felt like hours to both of them. Neither of them would ever tire of the feelings that aroused inside them every time they had sex._

_Enjolras could his orgasm building as he rode his lover. He grabbed one of Thierry's hands and placed it on his cock. Thierry understanding what he needed started pumping his hand._

_"Oh, God, Thierry." Enjolras said as he leaned forward to press a kiss to his lover's lips._

_"It's okay. I've got you." Thierry whispered as he continued stroking his hand as he thrusted up inside of Enjolras, pounding into his lover's prostate. Enjolras' fingernails dug into Thierry's chest._

_After a few more strokes, Enjolras screamed as he threw back his head and cum started to dribble from his cock, landing all over his and Thierry's chest._

_"That's it, my love." Thierry continued to stroke Enjolras to help him reach the end of his orgasm._

_When his lover was spent, Thierry gently flipped them over and thrusted gently into Enjolras to reach his own orgasm. Enjolras sighed as his lover continued to move inside of him. Thierry leaned down to kiss him before his own orgasm hit him and cum was released inside of Enjolras._

_Thierry slowly pulled out of Enjolras to lay down next to him. Enjolras immediately moved to be tucked into Thierry's side. Thierry pressed a kiss to the top of Enjolras' sweaty curls. Enjolras placed a kiss on his chest before they both feel into a deep and peaceful sleep._

Enjolras looked at the compass inside of the locket before closing it. He was done hiding. He was done letting Grantaire get into his head. His heart belonged to Thierry. Always had, always will.

He got up from the bed. Enjolras cleaned himself up, then got dressed. When he was ready, he walked up the steps to the deck. All the eyes of his friends were on him as he walked towards the wheel.

"Why are you all staring?" Enjolras asked. "Get back to work."

The crew all exchanged looks before going back to work all very confused about what changed their Captain's mood.


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nope! Nada!

In the days that followed, Enjolras became the cruelest the crew had ever seen him. The main victim of that cruelty, which came as no surprise to the friends, was Grantaire. He glared at Grantaire whenever he saw him. He gave him the cold shoulder. He yelled at him for no reason. They noticed the look of hurt in Grantaire's eyes. The friends were pissed at Enjolras' behavior, but knew that they couldn't do anything or else that cruelty would turn on them.

Enjolras stood at the helm of the ship when Combeferre approached him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Combeferre hissed at him.

Enjolras didn't bother looking at him. "I don't know what you mean?"

"Oh, cut it out, Enj!" Combeferre told him. "Your treatment of Grantaire! Why do you think that you have the right to be cruel to him?"

Enjolras turned to glare at his best friend. "The fact that you have to ask that damn question amazes me."

"Oh, right! Thierry." Enjolras could hear the venom in his best friend's voice as he said Thierry's name. "You know I was alright with letting your mourning continue, but not when it's made you blind to what is right in front of you! Grantaire is in love with you, but you refuse to see it, all because you won't let go of Thierry!"

"You know why I can't!" Enjolras said through gritted teeth.

"Because of a damn promise that you two made while he was alive! When are you going to understand that Thierry is dead! Dead, Enjolras! And he's not coming back!" Combeferre yelled at his friend.

Enjolras turned to his friend and they stood toe to toe. "You don't think that I don't know that! He died in my arms or have you forgotten that little detail?" The Captain shouted back. "I made a promise to Thierry! I promised him forever! I'm not breaking that promise. You know I don't expect you to understand, Combeferre, because you don't know a thing about real loss!"

Combeferre was taken aback by the words that just flew out of his best friend's mouth. "You're not the only one on this ship that lost him, Enjolras! You didn't just lose a lover when he died, we all lost a brother! We all mourned him. Maybe differently than what you did, but we all mourned him. You've had three years to mourn! It's time to pick up the pieces and move on!"

"Oh, and I assume you expect me to move on with Grantaire! I don't love him, Combeferre!" Enjolras spat.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing! If you don't love him, Enjolras, why are you so damn affected by him?" Combeferre asked.

"I don't know, but it sure as hell, isn't because I love him." Enjolras turned back to the helm.

Combeferre shook his head. "You know, I don't even know who you are these days. I used to think that I did, but now, the Enjolras standing in front of me is not my best friend. It's a man who only cares about himself and what he feels, and quite frankly, I want nothing to do with him. Let me know when my best friend is back."

With that Combeferre turned and walked back down the steps to join the rest of his friends. The friends had heard the argument, but didn't dare say another word.

Grantaire stood to the side of the ship, the mop in his hands, when he heard Enjolras scream for Bahorel. He turned long enough to see Enjolras give the helm to Bahorel before he quickly ran down the stairs and towards the Captain's quarters. Grantaire handed over the mop to Joly before going toward to door to the quarters. He was stopped by Combeferre grabbing his arm.

"Don't even think about it!" Combeferre hissed.

Grantaire yanked his arm out of Combeferre's grip. "I don't know what you thought you'd accomplish by fucking yelling at him."

"I thought I could make him see sense." Combeferre told him.

"What sense? That he's in love with me! Guess what, he already sees that, and he hates it. That's why he's acting like this." Grantaire said, glaring at Combeferre before continuing in his.

Grantaire made his way down to the Captain's quarters. He knocked on the wood and asked, "Enjolras?"

He saw Enjolras standing by the window, wiping a tear from his eyes. Enjolras saw him through the reflection of the windows.

"Go away, Grantaire!" Enjolras told him.

"No. I'm staying right here." Grantaire crossed his arms.

Enjolras slammed his hands down on the wood of the ship. "Is that what you came here for? To torture me?"

"I came down here to make sure you were alright after your fight with Combeferre." Grantaire walked toward him.

Enjolras turned to look at him. "I'm fine."

"Somehow I don't believe you." Grantaire commented.

"Well, I don't care if you believe me or not." Enjolras told him as he walked past him and towards his desk.

Grantaire sighed. "Why is it so hard for you to be honest with how you're feeling?"

"I'm not doing this with you, Grantaire." Enjolras turned to look at him.

"Why not? Because I make it too hard. Because I get inside your head and force you to face up to something you don't want to. Enjolras, you are not the first person in the world to lose somebody!" Grantaire told him as he got closer to Enjolras.

"Grantaire, I'm warning you." Enjolras glared at him.

"You know, before I found this ship, before I found you, I walked around in circles for months asking myself why? Why did I have to lose my parents and my sister? Why did I have to be the only one to survive? But then, I realized that there wasn't any sense in asking those questions. It happened and I had to find a way to pick up the pieces and move on. The question that I have for you is: are you going to find the strength to do the same?"

"I'm not going to do anything."

"Well, then I hope you realize that soon you will be alone." Grantaire commented. Enjolras made a move to punch him in the face, but Grantaire blocked it. He got a hold of Enjolras' arms. "Tell me how angry you are! Tell me how angry you are at Thierry for leaving you here!" Grantaire demanded.

Enjolras let out a scream of frustration as he tried to get Grantaire to release him. "I'm not mad at Thierry!"

Grantaire's grip on Enjolras' wrists tightened slightly as he forced Enjolras to look at him. "Yes, you are! And you're mad at me because I made you feel something again! You hate what you feel for me."

Enjolras ripped himself out of Grantaire's hands to push past him.

Grantaire sighed before turning to leave. "That's it! You are impossible! And I can't take it anymore."

"Then, leave!"

Grantaire was taken aback by Enjolras' words before saying. "Well, then, maybe I will." With that, Grantaire left the Captain's quarters before another word was spoken.

Enjolras stared after him, and in act of frustration, he threw the closest thing to him, a bottle of ink, across the room. The bottle of ink hit the wall and shattered. As ink, started to cover the floor, the tears that Enjolras had been trying to hold back started coming and he fell to his knees as the weight of everything that had happened in the last three years started taking over.

***

Once Grantaire was back up on deck, instead of answering the crew's questions about what happened, he made a direct line for the door that led down to the crew's cots. Joly and Bossuet following after him. He ran toward his cot, Grantaire grabbed his bag and started throwing clothes and other belongings inside.

"R, what are you doing? R!" Joly asked as he saw his friend packing.

"What does it look like? I'm packing. When the ship docks at the next port, I'm getting off. I'm not dealing with this anymore. I'm not going to sit here and watch the man I love continue going down a path of self-destruction, knowing there's not a damn thing that I can do about it." Grantaire said.

"But what about us? What about your friends?" Bossuet asked.

Grantaire sighed and stopped his packing. "I don't want to leave. I don't, but when I look at anything on this ship, I think of Enjolras and that includes you two and the rest of my friends."

"But you can't let Enjolras be the reason that you leave."

Grantaire sighed. "When I came on this ship, I wanted a new beginning without pain. Since I stepped on, there's been nothing, but pain. I don't want to go, but I need to."

Joly and Bossuet looked at each other. Grantaire continued throwing his things in the bag.

"If leaving is what you think is best, we'll support you, but don't forget that you do have friends who do love you." Joly walked up to Grantaire and gave him a hug.

Grantaire smiled before returning the hug. "Thanks. Um…please don't mention this to anyone, especially Enjolras."

"Your secret is safe with us." Bossuet said.

"But promise us that you will tell the others. You don't just disappear in the night." Joly said.

Grantaire nodded. "Of course."

The other two left him to his devices. Grantaire found his sketchbook and started flipping through it. He found pictures of the crew, but it was mostly drawings of Enjolras. He debated ripping them all out and destroying them, but decided against it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the two chapters posted on Monday is my favorite of the story, so I'll see you all again then!
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my absolute favorite chapter of the whole story!

Enjolras barricaded himself in the Captain's quarters once he had calmed down. There was no lock on the door, so he had simply just put a chair in front of the door. His friends could push past it, if they absolutely needed to get to him. Later that night, Jehan did just that when he brought down a tray of food. He set the tray on the desk before looking around the area and started to tidy it up.

"You don't have to do that, Jehan. After all, I'm sure you hate me just as much as the others." Enjolras said from his spot on the bed.

Jehan turned around and looked at him before walking toward him. "Can I?"

Enjolras scooted over and allowed Jehan to crawl in next to him. This was one of the reasons why Enjolras adored Jehan. He was always kind and caring, even when his friends were being idiots.

"I don't hate you, Enj." Jehan told him.

"Why not? Combeferre hates me. Grantaire hates me. I hate me."

Jehan sighed. "They do not hate you, and neither do I. I'm just disappointed in you as is Combeferre and the rest of our friends. Now, Grantaire is just…Grantaire is hurt. He is, after all, in love—"

"With me, I know. But I can't give him what he wants. I can't betray Thierry that way." Enjolras told his friend.

"And I understand that, I do, but don't you think that Thierry would want you to be happy?" Jehan asked.

Enjolras shrugged. "I guess, but I don't know if I can, Jehan. Thierry wasn't just the man I loved. He was my best friend. We grew up together. Loving Thierry is all I have ever known."

Jehan smiled at him. "I know, love. But just remember your choices don't just hurt you, but sometimes they affect the people who love you."

Enjolras nodded and said, "Thank you, Jehan."

They hugged each other. When they pulled away, Jehan kissed Enjolras' forehead. "Eat, please. Then, try and get some sleep. I'll tell everyone that Combeferre is in charge for the night while our Captain tries to figure things out."

Enjolras nodded as he grabbed the tray of food and started eating. Jehan smiled, satisfied, before leaving the room. He finished the food, setting the tray on his desk. He walked to the window to look up at the moon. He sighed before going to the dresser, opening a drawer to grab a shirt. Enjolras brought it to his nose and breathed in. Thierry's scent had faded, but because it had been his, it still gave him comfort. He brought it over to the bed and crawled under the covers. Enjolras was asleep within minutes.

***

Later that night, Enjolras awoke with a start. He crawled out from under the covers, walked over to the basin, and threw water on his face. Then, he opened one of the windows, letting the smell of salt and sea wash over him.

He walked over to the bed and sat down. Enjolras ran his hands through his hair a few times. He sighed before his eye caught sight of his tattoo. "I wish you were here, Thierry."

"But I am here." Thierry's voice said.

"No, you're not. I'm just hearing things." Enjolras said

"Yes, I am, darling. All you need to do is look up."

Enjolras did as the voice asked. He looked up to see Thierry standing there in all his white puffy shirt, leather pant, and curly dark hair glory.

"Thierry."

"Hello, love." Thierry grinned

Enjolras smiled as he stood up and rushed over to him. Thierry caught him in his arms. Enjolras pressed their lips together in a frantic kiss filled with passion and desire. Thierry responded with just as much passion and desire.

When they pulled away, Enjolras rested his forehead against Thierry's. "Oh, how I've missed you.”

"I know, my love."

"How are you here? I have to be dreaming."

"No, love, this is very much real. I'm in some sort of limbo state. I've always been here, but you just couldn't see me."

Enjolras smiled. "That means we can still be together."

Thierry shook his head and sighed. "I'm afraid not, love. You will only see me tonight because I'm only granted tonight to be with you."

"But why?" Enjolras asked as he gripped Thierry's shirt.

"Because I've been sent to tell you that it's time to let me go." Thierry told me.

Enjolras looked at him, confused. "What? Let you go? How can you ask that of me?"

Thierry sighed before cupping his lover's face. "Love, the time that we had together was wonderful, but that time is over now. It's been three years. It's time to let me go."

Enjolras pulled out of Thierry's arms. "No!" He walked over to the window as his eyes started to sting. He felt arms wrap around his waist and closed his eyes. "We promised each other forever."

"I know we did, but we had our forever in the time that we were together. Our forever ended when I died." Thierry told him. "It's time that you move on with someone who loves you as much as I do, if not more."

"You mean Grantaire." Enjolras whispered.

"Yes, I mean Grantaire."

Enjolras sighed. "But I don't love him. I only have and only ever will love you."

Thierry took a deep breath. "You can lie to yourself, love, but you can't lie to me. You love him. Why can't you just admit it?"

"Because it feels like a betrayal of you and what we had. If I admit it, it means you are really gone." Enjolras told him as a tear slipped through.

Thierry unwrapped his arms from around his love and turned him around to face him. "Love, I'm gone either way. It's time that you accepted that."

"I have accepted that!" Enjolras cried.

"No, you haven't, love. You say that you have, but we both know that you haven't." Thierry told him.

Enjolras pulled away from Thierry. He walked past him. When he was on the other side of the room, he turned to face Thierry, sadness and frustration evident in his voice. "What do you want me to do? Completely forget about you! Forget about what we had!"

Thierry walked toward him and grabbed his hands. "No! That's not what I want at all. What I want is for you to open your heart to someone who loves you. What I want is for you to admit that you're in love with Grantaire. Love, I'm dead, so it's not going to betray me. The only thing it will do for me is let me know that you are loved and will be taken care of. I only want you happy."

"My only source of happiness is standing right in front of me." Enjolras cried. His grip tightened on Thierry's shirt.

Thierry cupped his lover's face. "But I can no longer be with you. Enjolras, I love you and I will always love you, but you have the chance to continue living and starting over with a man who would move mountains for you if he could."

"But I don't know how to live without you, Thierry." Enjolras said as tears slipped from his eyes. Thierry wiped them away with the pad of his thumb.

"Then, you need to find something or someone else to live for." Thierry told him. "If you just admit-"

"I can't!"

Thierry sighed. "Yes, you can. Just admit it." Enjolras started shaking his head. "Come on, love, say it. You love Grantaire. Just say it. You love him. Let me go and say it."

"No. Please, no." Enjolras begged.

"Love, you have too. It is three little words. The pain will ease, if you just say it."

More tears slipped through Enjolras' eyes. "If I say anything, I'll lose you."

"No, you won't. There is nothing that you could ever admit to me that would cause you to lose me. Just please say it. Stop denying it to yourself." Thierry whispered to Enjolras.

Enjolras looked him in the eye before saying. "I love Grantaire. I'm in love with Grantaire. I have been since the night he gave me the drawing of the ship."

The weight of everything caused Enjolras to crumble to the floor in tears. Thierry followed after, pulling him into his arms. Enjolras wrapped his arms around him as he cried.

"Shh, shh. Love, it's okay. It's okay." Thierry tried to console him as he kissed the top of Enjolras' forehead.

"Why does this hurt so much?" Enjolras cried into his neck.

"Because what you feel for both of us is real." Thierry told him. "Loving Grantaire is okay. It doesn't diminish what we had or what you felt for me."

"Not with how I've hurt him." Enjolras told him.

"He will forgive you." Thierry assured.

Enjolras shook his head as he buried it in Thierry's chest. Thierry ran his hands through Enjolras' hair as he did his best to comfort his tortured lover.

After a while, Enjolras calmed down. He pulled out of Thierry's arms and turned to face his lover. "But just because I love him doesn't mean that I won't always love you."

"I know, my love, but you have to let me go in order to have a true chance with Grantaire. That means removing this from your neck." Thierry took the locket between his thumb and pointer finger to look at it. Enjolras simply nodded. "My job here is almost done, I'm going to have to leave soon."

Enjolras shook his head. "No, please. Stay. I need you to stay."

"Love, I'm never very far away from you because I am always right here." Thierry placed his hand over Enjolras' heart.

Enjolras started crying before leaning forward to kiss Thierry again. They kissed passionately before Thierry pulled away to lean their foreheads together.

"Will you hold me tonight? Just one last time." Enjolras brought his hands to Thierry's face. Doing everything that he could to commit his face to memory.

Thierry nodded as he helped him stand up. They walked to the bed. Thierry crawled in, followed by Enjolras. Thierry wrapped an arm around his lover's waist. Enjolras turned to face him and they shared one final kiss before Enjolras drifted to sleep.

***

When Enjolras woke up the next morning, he had thought that the whole thing had been a dream until he looked at the table next to the bed where there was a piece of parchment laying on it. He picked it up and read it.

_My dearest Enjolras,_

_Our love will always be something that we will cherish, but now it's time to let me go for you have a new adventure to go on with a man who loves you just as much as you love him._

_I will always love you._

_Goodbye, my love._

_Thierry_

Enjolras held the parchment to his chest before standing up. Let Thierry go. Enjolras could do that. He loved Grantaire, he could let go of Thierry for him. He had to.

Enjolras opened Thierry's chest before going around the room and collecting everything that had been his. This was the first step into letting him go. Packing up his things and accepting that he was never going to see him again. Once everything was packed, Enjolras stood in front of the chest because there was one last thing to go inside.

He looked down at the locket. Enjolras slowly reached behind his neck and undid the clasp. He opened it to look at the message and compass one last time before it was locked away forever. He closed it and kissed it before holding it to his chest.

As tears fell, Enjolras muttered one final goodbye to the man that he had loved, but lost. "I will always love you. Goodbye, Thierry."

He kissed the locket one last time before putting it in the box that it came in. Enjolras placed the box at the bottom of the chest before closing it. He grabbed the key to lock the chest. As he heard the tumblers lock into place, signaling the chest was locked, Enjolras felt an incredible weight being lifted off his shoulders.

He had let go of one man that he loved, but now it was time to beg the forgiveness of the other.

Enjolras dreaded going to see his friends and Grantaire, but he had to face them eventually. He hadn't treated any of them kindly since Grantaire came aboard the ship. He understood now by what Combeferre said that he had become a different man and he hated himself for the man that he had become.

He just hoped his friends, and above all else, Grantaire, could forgive him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first came up with the idea of this story, the moment between Enjolras and Thierry is the one that just stuck with me while I figured out the rest of the plot. I just loved the idea of Thierry coming back as a ghost to get Enjolras to admit his feelings for Grantaire.
> 
> We are officially at the turning point, but there's still some more things that have to happen before we reach the end.


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.

The friends sat in the galley eating their breakfast, laughing and making jokes. A majority of the crew was sitting at the main table, while Grantaire sat alone at a different table across the room.

Grantaire announced to the rest the night before that he was leaving when the ship docked next port. None of them were happy about it, but they all knew that there was no changing of Grantaire's mind. They knew that Enjolras was the reason for him wanting to leave, and in a way, they wanted to leave too, but they had all been with Enjolras too long to turn their back on him.

When Cosette noticed Enjolras standing in the doorway of the galley. He looked shy and didn't know whether he should be there or not.

"Enj," She said, getting the attention of everyone in the room.

"Hi. Mind if I join?" Enjolras asked, shyly.

"Are you done being a complete ass?" Courfeyrac asked.

Enjolras smiled. "Yes. I think I am."

"Then, come and join." Bossuet said, waving him over.

Enjolras walked over and his friends all excitedly gave him hugs as Musichetta got him a plate of food. They led Enjolras to the table and he sat down between Combeferre and Courfeyrac.

Nobody noticed Grantaire slip out of the galley.

"I'm sorry for the way that I've treated all of you. I just…I'm sorry. I know that that's not enough, but I don't know what else to say." Enjolras started. "I don't know how you'll forgive me, but I hope you can find a way to do so. I love you all. You have been with me through thick and thin and I don't want to lose you. Any of you."

"And we don't want to lose you, either. You were headed down a dangerous path." Joly said.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Enjolras apologized.

Combeferre smiled. "It's okay. Just as long as you never act like that again."

Enjolras shook his head and swore that he wouldn't. They all smile, cheer, and got back to their breakfast. Nobody noticed that the locket had been removed until Jehan does.

"Um…Enj…where's your locket?" Jehan asked, concerned.

The rest of the crew looked at Enjolras' neck and realized that it was gone. They all went into a panic that the chain had snapped and that he had lost it until he was able to calm them down.

"No, I didn't lose it. I took it off." Enjolras told them.

A majority of them gasped, knowing how much that locket had meant. "What?" Feuilly asked.

"I had time to think and I realized that all of you were right. It was time to let Thierry go." Enjolras explained.

"Are you alright?" Marius asked.

Enjolras looked at them and nodded. "I am, surprisingly. I gave that man everything. I think it will still take a little time, but I know that I'll be okay and that he's always with me. That reminds me after we eat, if Courf and 'Ferre could come to my quarters with me, I need your help getting Thierry's chest out of there."

His best friends nodded and the rest of the group finished eating.

***

After they were done eating and Courfeyrac and Combeferre went with Enjolras, Joly and Bossuet went to go find Grantaire, who was doing his chores.

"Why did you leave?" Joly asked.

"Because I didn't want to be there." Grantaire told him.

Joly and Bossuet look at each other before Joly said, "But you need to talk to him."

"Why?" Grantaire asked him.

"Because he's let go of Thierry." Bossuet told him.

Grantaire raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I doubt it."

"He removed the locket. A locket that he hasn't removed since Thierry gave the damn thing to him." Joly told him.

Grantaire sighed. "Yeah, but for how long will that damn necklace stay off of his neck? I can almost guarantee not very long. I'm not getting my hope up, only for them to be tarnished."

Joly looked at Grantaire with a raised eyebrow. "You really don't believe him."

Grantaire shrugged his shoulders before walking away from them. Joly and Bossuet looked at each other before looking back at Grantaire retreating form.

***

In the Captain's quarters, Enjolras was sitting at the desk as Combeferre and Courfeyrac sat across from him.

"So, why the sudden change?" Combeferre asked.

Enjolras looked at him. If he told them that Thierry came to him, they would tell him that he was crazy. "I had time to think about everything and realized that I didn't want to lose any of my friends and I knew that I would if I continued down that path."

"So, is this what you need moved out of here?" Courfeyrac stood up and moved to the bed where the chest was still sitting.

Enjolras nodded. "Yes. I want you to hide it somewhere on this ship where I'll never find it. You two being the only two who know where it is. But I want it to remain on the ship, no throwing it overboard." The two friends nodded.

"So, what are going to do about Grantaire?" Courfeyrac asked.

"Find a way to win him back." Enjolras told them. The pair looked at each other. Enjolras caught the look sent between them. "Alright, something's up. What is it?" When neither of them spoke a word, he sighed. "Come on, tell me. Don't hold it back."

"Grantaire's leaving." Combeferre told him.

Enjolras' eyes went wide. "What? When?"

"When the ship docks at next port, so two days from now." Courfeyrac explained.

Enjolras shook his head. "No. He can't leave."

"He's already made his decision. He said that being on this ship with you was too hard for him." Combeferre explained.

"Well, then, I guess that I'm going to have to change his mind." Enjolras told them.

"Enj, R isn't known for changing his mind when he's set his mind to something." Combeferre replied.

"I'm the reason that he wants to leave. I have to at least try to get him to stay. I love him, and I'm not going to lose both of the only two men that I've ever loved." Enjolras said, determined.

***

That night when a majority of his friends had gone to bed, Grantaire snuck up to the deck to his place where he could see the stars. He took out his sketchbook and started to draw. He'd only been up there for a few minutes when he felt the presence of another behind him. He turned his head and saw Enjolras. With the moon shining down on his features, he looked more beautiful than ever.

"Hello, Grantaire. Mind if I?" Enjolras gestured to the railing.

"It's your ship. You can do what you like." Grantaire told him.

Enjolras nodded as he got on the ship's railing. "The stars are beautiful tonight." Grantaire doesn't say a word. Enjolras then continued on saying a whole bunch of random things to try and get a reaction of Grantaire, but no luck. "Look, Grantaire. I'm sorry.

"About what?" Grantaire said.

"Everything. Everything that I've done to hurt you since you boarded this ship. I'm sorry. I know that doesn't seem like much, but I am." Enjolras replied, turning to face him.

Grantaire looked down and saw no locket around his neck. "Where's your precious locket?"

Enjolras looked down at his neck. "I took it off. I realized everything that you and my friends were saying was true. I couldn't keep holding on to Thierry. I was blinded by my love for him to see what was right in front of me, but I'm looking now. You. I love you, Grantaire."

"No. No. You don't. You're just saying what you think I want you to say in order to get me to stay. You don't really love me." Grantaire throwing up the walls that surrounded his heart as a defense mechanism.

Enjolras shook his head. "No, I'm not just saying it. I really do, truly, honesty love you. And I want you to stay."

"Yeah, and if I decide to stay, how long before that precious locket appears back around your neck?" Grantaire asked him.

"Never because I don't know where it is. Courf and 'Ferre helped me removed Thierry's chest from my room filled with his belongings and the locket. I don't know where they put it." Enjolras told him.

Grantaire looked at him and saw the sincere and vulnerable look in his eyes and knew every word coming out of his mouth was true. But he just couldn't. He had to protect his own heart.

Enjolras leaned closer to Grantaire and whispered into the space between them. "I love you." He captured Grantaire's mouth with his own.

As Enjolras' mouth moved against Grantaire's. Grantaire tried not to kiss Enjolras back, but he knew it was hopeless. All he had wanted since their night together was to feel Enjolras' lips back on his. Grantaire wrapped his arms around Enjolras' waist, kissing him back, as Enjolras cupped his face, but Grantaire soon came back to his senses and pulled away.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. I love you, Grantaire. Please, stay."

Grantaire shook his head. "I can't. I love you, Enjolras, I do, but I can't stay.

"Why?" Enjolras said. His eyes stinging with tears.

"Because my heart won't be able to take it if you change your mind." Grantaire said.

Enjolras shook his head. "But I won't change my mind. Grantaire, you need to stay. You're supposed to be my new beginning. I can't lose you."

Grantaire had his own tears forming in his eyes. "I can't stay, 'Jolras."

"Please. I promise I won't hurt you. Please." Enjolras could feel the tears falling down his cheeks.

"I can't take that risk." Grantaire moving away from Enjolras. "'Jolras, I love you, but I have to go. Please understand that."

"But I can't lose you. I already lost one man that I loved, if I lose you, I know I won't be able to survive it. Please, Grantaire, stay. Please." Enjolras begged him.

"'Jolras, I can't. I'm sorry. I'll always love you, but I can't stay." Grantaire told him, firmly.

Enjolras simply nodded before Grantaire pressed a small kiss to his lips and got off the railing. As he made his way down to the crew's bedroom, he could hear Enjolras' crying turn into heart-wrenching and broken shrieks and sobs.

He couldn't stay. Leaving was for the best, so Grantaire ignored the crying as he walked away.

Once he arrived at his cot, Grantaire set his sketchbook on the floor and crawled under the covers to go to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a happy ending, I swear.
> 
> See you all again on Wednesday!
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: You know the drill.

The next morning when Grantaire came up on deck, the majority of the crew except for Bahorel and Éponine were glaring at him.

"What happened?" Grantaire asked him.

"The Captain has locked himself in his quarters again. Everyone's sure that you did something." Bahorel explained.

"That's because he did do something. Enjolras finally admitted that he loved you, but you threw that love back at him as if it meant nothing to you." Jehan accused.

"Well, need we remind you all of the pain Enjolras has inflicted on Grantaire?" Éponine reminded them.

"Because he was still mourning Thierry!" Jehan yelled at them. Everyone was startled to hear Jehan yell because they've never heard him yell like that before. Courfeyrac walked to him. "I swear to God, Grantaire, if he's done anything to harm himself, I will kill you myself." Jehan threatened.

"Jehan, calm down. You will be doing no such thing to Grantaire. If he wants to leave, he can leave. It's his choice." Enjolras' voice came from behind the group.

Jehan smiled and ran to hug Enjolras. "You didn't do anything."

"Of course, I didn't do anything. I have a ship to run." Enjolras smiled down at Jehan and let him go before turning to glare at the rest of the crew. "But seriously, no one is hurting Grantaire or anything. If he wants to leave, it's his will to do so. No one is going to try and stop him."

"But, Enj, what about-" Marius started.

"By order of the Captain, no one is going to try and get him to stay. He's made his choice. Now, we must live with it." Enjolras said, using his Captain's voice. "Now, get back to work. All of you."

Everyone went to do their jobs, but Grantaire walked toward Enjolras, who was refusing to look at him.

"Does that include you?" Grantaire asked.

"I know where you stand. You know where I stand. I love you, and I'm very, sincerely sorry, but clearly that's not enough. So, yes, to answer your question that includes me as well. If you don't want to stay, you don't have to stay. None of my crew is forced to stay if they don't want to." Enjolras told him. "But right now, you are still part of the crew until tomorrow morning, so you have chores."

***

That night when Grantaire went down to go to bed, he was taken by surprise by someone he never expected to see.

"You know for someone who has been so forgiving in the past, you really do want to punish Enjolras, don't you?" A voice from the shadows said.

Grantaire jumped at the sound of the voice. "Who said that?"

"I did." A man stepped out of the shadows and into the candlelight.

"Who are you?" Grantaire asked.

"Come on, Grantaire. Do you really not know who I am? Take a wild guess." The man said.

Grantaire looked at the man. He saw the similar features between him and the man and remembered Enjolras saying how close in resemblance they were. "Thierry."

"You got it in one guess. Congratulations!" Thierry said with a smirk.

Grantaire backed away from him. "How are you here? You're dead."

"That's right, I am, but I've been trapped in a limbo stage since then. Not truly alive, but not truly dead, either." Thierry told him.

"Are you here to tell me how unfair I'm being to your precious Enjolras?" Grantaire said.

Thierry chuckled. "No, I'm not because I think you already know. Just a few days ago, you were begging Enjolras to give you a chance, but now when he's ready to, you don't want to take that chance."

Grantaire sighed, "Because he hasn't truly let go of you. He's just saying that."

"Really? Because the other night when I appeared to him, he seemed determined to let me go and find a way to get you to forgive him because of how desperately he wanted to be with you, but has been too afraid of how I would feel about it." Thierry explained.

"And how do you feel?" Grantaire asked him.

"I want my Enjolras to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted, even when I was alive." Thierry revealed. "Look, Grantaire, I know that Enjolras isn't the easiest person to love. Trust me, there were times when even I questioned my choice in partner, but at the end of the day, I loved him."

"But he didn't have to hold on to you for three years." Grantaire murmured.

Thierry shrugged. "No, but what you have to understand, Grantaire, is that we were each other's first love, not to mention we grew up together. We were all each other had for years. Enjolras has never loved another other than me. Until you came along. He fought his feelings for you for that very reason."

"Why are you here, Thierry?" Grantaire asked.

"I want you to stay. You have no idea what you're leaving is going to do to Enjolras." Thierry warned.

"I just can't stay."

"Yes, you can. You just don't want to because you want to cause Enjolras pain like he caused you."

Grantaire shook his head. "That is not-"

"Yes, it is." Thierry cut him off.

"Look, Thierry, with all due respect, but you don't know me." Grantaire turned his head away from him.

"Fine. That's your call, but just remember that you are hurting yourself too in the end. Not making it better." Thierry said and with that, he disappeared into thin air.

Grantaire turned his head back only to find that Thierry was gone. He sighed before crawling in to his cot and doing his best to fall asleep.

***

The next morning, he could hear his friends docking the ship as he woke up. Grantaire sat up and sighed. He quickly got out of the bed and got dressed. The Captain had given the order that no one else was leaving the ship while they were in port because they weren't staying any longer than what they had to. So, the only people allowed off were him, Combeferre, and Enjolras.

He had collected his things before going to the galley for a bite to eat. When he arrived, the galley was completely empty. Grantaire quickly ate before making his way up to the deck.

His friends were scattered around the deck as he came up, putting supplies away. The one that he wanted to see before he left was nowhere to be seen.

Before heading down the ramp, Grantaire said goodbye to each and every member that was on deck. As he said goodbye to Combeferre, he searched the deck again for Enjolras, but still nothing. He knew Combeferre knew who he was looking for, but knew better than to say anything. Grantaire said goodbye to Joly and Bossuet. The two who he had been closest to during his time on the ship.

Once he was done saying goodbye to them, he looked around the deck, one more time before he noticed Enjolras hiding behind one of the masts.

Grantaire walked toward him. "Were you really going to let me go without saying goodbye?"

"Not saying goodbye would have been easier than watching you walk down the ramp. Besides, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop from asking you to stay, and with the fact I've already told the rest not to ask you to and I have begged you not to. Asking again would have been selfish." Enjolras admitted.

Grantaire nodded before slowly turning away and walking back toward the ramp. As Grantaire walked away, Enjolras stepped out from behind the mast and avoided eye contact with his crew. He kept his eyes straight forward in the direction of Grantaire, but then all of sudden, he felt lips on his. He kissed back, giving as much love and passion into it as he could before Grantaire walked off the ship forever.

Grantaire pulled away from the kiss. "I have to go."

Enjolras simply nodded before pulling him in for a chaste kiss. He pulled away and Grantaire turned around, taking a deep breath and walking down the ramp.

Enjolras and his friends watched him leave until they couldn't see him anymore.

"Let's go, mates." Enjolras said. Any feeling from his words were gone. His voice was cold.

"But-" Bahorel started.

"He made his choice, now we all must live with it." Enjolras said.

Éponine rolled her eyes. "He never would have made it, if you have just given him a chance. Three years is a long time to mourn. Thierry died! How much of a child do you have to be to not build a bridge and get over it?"

Enjolras walked over to her, so that they were standing toe to toe. He was glaring down at her. "If you don't like the way that I live my life. Nothing, I mean nothing, is keeping you here. As I told Grantaire, if you want to leave, leave. I'm not going to keep you here. And for your information, I love Grantaire, more than life itself, and if you think that I don't feel guilty for everything that happened and the role that I played in his leaving, you couldn't be more wrong, little girl. I know that it's my fault, and I don't need you or anyone else on this damn ship to tell me that!" He walked away from Éponine and told his crew to raise the anchor.

As they all went about their jobs to get the ship ready to leave, Enjolras headed up to the wheel. 

"So much for a new beginning." Enjolras mumbled to himself as he steered the ship in the direction of the sea.


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Again you know the drill.

As the days went on, the ship reverted back to the way it had been before Grantaire had come aboard because Enjolras had become distant again. His friends could tell that he was barely holding it together, but after what he told Éponine, nobody dared to mention Grantaire when Enjolras was present or try to talk to him about it. Enjolras eventually caught on to it and ended up telling them to stop walking on egg shells around him as if they expected him to break at the mention of Grantaire's name.

It was about a week after Grantaire's leaving that Feuilly was up in the crow's nest, looking through the spyglass when he saw a ship approaching in the distance. He glanced at the markings of the ship a little closer before realizing that it was Montparnasse's ship. He rang the bell, getting the crew's attention before climbing down the rope ladder and ran to the Captain's quarters where Enjolras was standing over his desk as he went over the map with Combeferre.

"Feuilly! What is it?" Enjolras asked when he saw Feuilly standing in the doorway, out of breath.

Montparnasse was all Feuilly needed to say to spur Enjolras into action. He ran up the steps and to the side of the ship. He looked out of his spyglass in the direction that Feuilly pointed. Enjolras started to shout orders at his friends. The three women went below deck for their own protection. They put up a fight until Enjolras ordered it with a stern glare.

"How are we sure that Montparnasse is going to stop?" Jehan said as Enjolras looked through the spyglass.

"Because he won't pass up the opportunity." Enjolras told him.

"But what could he possibly want from you anymore? He killed the only thing that he wanted from you." Joly said.

The memory of the heated looks that Montparnasse sent Thierry flashed through his mind as well as the memory of the dagger being plunged into Thierry's side.

"Yes, but I have no doubt that Babet will have returned to him with the news of Grantaire." Enjolras told them.

Jehan raised an eyebrow. "But you and Grantaire weren't even together when we came across Babet. The only thing that you did was protect him from…" He trailed off as he came to the realization. "You were in love with Grantaire at that point, weren't you?"

Enjolras nodded. "Yes. If anything, Babet figured it out and reported it back to Montparnasse."

"Well, if that's the case maybe it's a good thing that Grantaire left." Bahorel said. When he saw the looks that he was receiving, he continued. "Since he left, Montparnasse can't take him from us…or Enjolras. He's protected."

A look of understanding passed between Bahorel and Enjolras, who nodded.

"Prepare for an attack. Unless, they do it first, no one pulls a sword or fires anything. Understood?" Enjolras told them. His friends shouted their understanding and moved to their places. Enjolras looked up to the sky and said. "I'll avenge you, Thierry, if I get the chance." Then, he closed his eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Grantaire. I love you."

***

In a small tavern room, a dark, curly haired man sat on the bed when he felt a pang to his heart. He ran around the room to collect his belongings before running out of the door, out of the tavern, and all the way to the harbor. He found a dock worker and ran over to them.

"Please, I need a boat. I'll pay anything. Just please, I need a boat." Grantaire said.

"Sorry, kid, I can't. The water's too rough for a kid like you to be out on it." The worked said.

Grantaire rolled his eyes. "I don't care. I need a boat and I'm not taking no for an answer."

The worker didn't care and just walked past him.

Grantaire reached his limits. He turned around, grabbed the man by the front of his shirt. "I'm through with being polite, goddamn it. The man that I love is in danger, so I don't care if the water's too dangerous. Give me a fucking boat." He released the man.

The man literally scared out of his mind, ran to find Grantaire a boat.

Grantaire looked out to the sea. "I'm coming, Enjolras."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...any theories on how Grantaire knew?
> 
> See you all on Friday for chapter 18 and 19!
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still not mine.

They continued to sail onward until the _Patron-Minette_ was right up against the ship. They put down the plank and Montparnasse boarded the ship, followed by Babet and a few others of his crew. Enjolras saw Montparnasse lean over to Babet. Asking him to scan his crew for Grantaire, no doubt. Babet did as his Captain asked, but when he reported back to Montparnasse, his Captain looked angered.

Montparnasse gave Enjolras a crooked, sly smile. "Hello, Little Captain."

Enjolras glared at him, but didn't say a word.

"I don't see your toy." Montparnasse taunted. "Oh, wait…that's right. I killed him."

Enjolras tried not to let the comment bother him, but his lip twitched.

"Oh, I struck a nerve with Little Captain." Montparnasse said as he walked around Enjolras in a circle. "I hear you have a new toy. Where is he?" Enjolras didn't reply "Did he realize that Little Captain wasn't worth it?"

"Enough." Enjolras said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, Little Captain is feisty." Montparnasse said. "Maybe I should find your new toy and kill him, just like I killed Thierry."

Despite telling his crew not to engage unless the other crew did first, the comment about Grantaire caused Enjolras to pull out his sword and held it up against Montparnasse's neck.

Montparnasse chuckled, evilly. "Do you have the guts to kill me, Little Captain? You've probably never killed a single person in your life. Is that why the new toy left? Couldn't handle being on the same ship as a weak sailor. That's what you are you know? Weak. Spineless. Worthless."

His friends could see Enjolras growing angrier with every word that left Montparnasse's mouth. They knew it was only a matter of time before that anger spilled out.

"You don't know a thing about me." Enjolras' teeth were still clinched.

"You're right. I just know that no one will ever love you." Montparnasse said.

Enjolras swung his sword, but Montparnasse blocked it.

Montparnasse smiled again, and Enjolras glared at him. "Maybe you do have the guts after all and you're new toy left because he was scared of you.

Enjolras swung again, and once again, it was blocked. They moved around the deck, their swords swinging. Enjolras had more anger in him than what Montparnasse thought he did, but that didn't stop every word out of his mouth from being a taunt about either Thierry or Grantaire.

After a while, Enjolras was able to slice part of Montparnasse's shirt and drew blood. Montparnasse looked down, saw the blood, and his eyes turned dark.

They continued to swing away at each other. Enjolras was eventually stabbed on the right side of his stomach, and once that happened Montparnasse thought he had won. However, with Montparnasse distracted, Enjolras was able stab his sword straight through Montparnasse's heart.

Montparnasse fell to his knees as his eyes fell closed and he took his last breath. Montparnasse's crew grabbed his body and quickly got him over to the _Patron-Minette_ before sailing away.

Enjolras yelled after them. "Never approach this ship again, do you hear me!"

Enjolras took one step forward, but felt a sharp pain in his side. He remembered his stab wound. His shirt was stained red as blood started to rush from the wound. As more blood left his body, he could feel himself grow lightheaded. Enjolras fell to his knees.

Joly immediately ran to his side to look at the wound. "We need to get you below deck. Their weapons are probably still laced with dreamshade. We need to stitch it up before I give you the antidote. Bahorel, Feuilly, help me get him below deck."

Bahorel and Feuilly helped Enjolras down to the Captain's quarters as Bossuet ran to get the supplies that Joly rambled off. They brought Enjolras over to the bed. Cosette and Musichetta came running down the stairs, followed by Bossuet.

"Bahorel, Feuilly, go upstairs and help the others get everything back in order. Bossuet, you to. Cosette, I need you to help me. We need to stop the blood before I can stitch it up." Joly commanded as he gave Cosette a cloth to hold against the wound. "'Chetta, we need water. Send Combeferre down." Musichetta ran back up to boil water.

Combeferre came down seconds later. "What do you need?"

"Find any sheets you can because we are going to need lots of them. We can't let the wound get infected once I have it stitched up and he's taken the antidote. Get help from the others." Joly told him.

Combeferre nodded before running back upstairs. Joly walked over to Cosette. He pulled the cloth away and saw the bleeding had slowed to almost a stop. "Go and get as much rum as possible. We need to clean the wound before I can stitch it." Cosette did as she was asked.

Joly saw that Enjolras was starting to slip in and out of consciousness. "No, Enjolras, you stay awake, you hear me."

"Jo…ly." Enjolras said, weakly. "Am…I…am I going to die?"

"Not if I can help it." Joly told him as Cosette came back down with the rum. She handed it to Joly.

"Here." Cosette said.

"Thanks. Now, I need you to go into my bag over there and grab the needle and thread." Joly told her.

"What about the antidote?" Cosette asked.

"Once we get this cleaned and stitched, I'll have him drink it." Joly said. He poured rum on the wound causing Enjolras to hiss. "I need the others down here and hold him down as I stitch him."

Cosette went to go get the other men to come down to hold Enjolras down. Joly cleaned and stitched the wound as quickly as possible. Once the wound was stitched and everyone, but Cosette had left, Joly poured some of the antidote into a cup and walked over to Enjolras with it.

"Now, remember once you drink this, you will fall under a deep sleep for days, while it burns out the poison. You'll experience a high fever and nightmares." Joly explained and Enjolras nodded in understanding. "Are you ready for it?" Enjolras nodded. "Okay. Cosette help him lift his head." She lifted Enjolras' head. Joly held the cup against his lips and tipped it back, so Enjolras could drink the contents.

Once Enjolras drank it all, Joly pulled the cup away, and Cosette helped him lay his head back down.

"We'll know the poison is gone when the fever breaks." Joly explained. Enjolras nodded a third time. "Cosette, go see how Musichetta is doing with the water because we are going to need it once the fever hits."

Cosette left the room. Enjolras laid there with his eyes open as Joly walked to the table where the basin was. He grabbed a bandage, and then walked over to Enjolras. He helped Enjolras sit up as he started wrapping the wound.

"Joly, thank you." Enjolras told him.

"You're welcome." Joly said as he wrapped it.

As the night wore on, Enjolras slowly grew tired until he fell asleep. Joly walked back upstairs to explain to the others that now he won't wake up until the poison was out of his system. He then went back down to be with Enjolras.

***

The others were back to cleaning the deck up after the sword fight between Enjolras and Montparnasse. Courfeyrac was mopping the deck of blood when he looked up over the side of the ship, only to see a boat with a man on it.

"Um…guys…look." Courfeyrac said. They all ran over to see what Courfeyrac was looking at.

As the boat got closer, they were able to tell that it was Grantaire. Once they realized who it was, Bahorel ran to get the rope ladder to help him get on the ship.

Grantaire got the boat as close to the ship as possible. He grabbed his bag of belongings from the boat and started to make his way up the rope ladder.

"What the hell, Grantaire?" Bahorel asked.

Grantaire climbed over the railing. His eyes desperately searching for Enjolras.

"Where is he?" Grantaire asked, desperately. All of them knowing who the he was.

"He's in the Captain's quarters with Joly." Combeferre said. "But, Grantaire..."

Grantaire took off running toward the Captain's quarters. He ran down the stairs and the first thing he saw was Enjolras in the bed. Joly watched him.

"Joly, please, tell me." Grantaire told him.

"He's going to be fine." Joly said. "Montparnasse stabbed him and the sword had dreamshade on it. We had the antidote. But while the antidote does its job, he'll be in a deep sleep."

Grantaire's eyes didn't leave his love's sleeping face. "Leave us."

Joly did as Grantaire asked. Grantaire moved toward the Captain's bedside.

"I'm so sorry, Enjolras." He grabbed Enjolras' hand. "I'm sorry that I left. I'm not leaving again, but please. Please, wake up. I love you." Grantaire told him, tearfully. He pressed a kiss to Enjolras' lips before laying down beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist. He stayed like that until Joly came back down. He moved to be sitting on the bedside.

"You should go get settled down again." Joly said.

"No, I'm going to stay right here. He needs me." Grantaire told him.

Joly sighed. "Grantaire, it's not going to be pretty."

"I don't care. I'm not leaving him." Grantaire told his friend. He cupped Enjolras' face with his hand. "Ever."


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nope!

As the days passed, Grantaire kept his promise. He stayed at Enjolras' bedside. Joly would come and check on his patient every two hours, but there was very little change and he would also bring food for Grantaire. Grantaire stayed there, holding his love's hand, talking to him about random things.

The poison had started to burn out of his system causing the fever to set in. Grantaire and Joly were doing whatever it took to keep him cool. The others would come down every so often to check on their Captain. While Enjolras was detained, Combeferre had temporarily taken Enjolras' place.

The nightmares had yet to start, but Joly expected them to start soon. When they did set in, they weren't pretty just like Joly said.

One night about a week after Grantaire's return to the ship, he was woken up from his spot in the chair at Enjolras' bedside by Enjolras' mumbling and screaming.

"No! Please! No! Not him! Anybody, but him." Enjolras said. Grantaire knew it was either about him or Thierry. That question was answered when Enjolras yelled out for Thierry, and then yelled out for Grantaire.

Once he called out his name, Grantaire moved closer to Enjolras to try and calm him. "Enjolras, love, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." However, nothing seemed to calm him. Enjolras' screams just kept getting louder, but once Grantaire started whisper that he was right there in Enjolras' ear, it seemed to calm him down.

A day later, Enjolras went through another nightmare. This one more violent than the last. He tossed, turned, and screamed for Grantaire.

"I'm sorry. Grantaire, I love you. I'm sorry." Enjolras said. "Please, forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I love you."

Grantaire did his best to soothe Enjolras. "Love, it doesn't matter. I'm here and I love you. I forgive you for everything. We've done our fair share of hurting each other. It's okay. I love you."

"Grantaire, please, don't leave me." The anguish in Enjolras' voice broke Grantaire's heart.

"I'm not going to leave you again. It is going to be okay, my love." Grantaire ran his hand over Enjolras' cheek with a cloth to try and remove the sweat from his love's face. The dream eventually ended allowing Enjolras to settle down again.

As the days went on, Joly tried to get Grantaire to sleep more, but he refused. Grantaire had only slept a handful of hours, while he waited for Enjolras to wake up.

Enjolras' wound was healing, thanks to the antidote. According to Joly, the poison should be burned out of his system within the day or two. Enjolras' fever broke the next day. Joly told Grantaire that he should be waking up soon. Since the wound was still in the process of healing, Joly made sure to keep it wrapped and a healing salve on it to stop the infection.

Grantaire was reading one of the books in Enjolras' room when his love's eyes started flickering. Grantaire noticed and immediately closed the book and went to sit down on the bed next to his love, holding his hand.

Enjolras's eyes opened and closed as they adjusted to the bright light of the sun. After they adjusted, his eyes stayed open, but he felt something in his hand. He turned and saw Grantaire.

"You're here." Enjolras' voice was hoarse from the lack of use. Grantaire reached for a glass of water that was sitting on the table next to the bed. He helped Enjolras lift his head in order to drink it.

"You're here." He said again with a smile on his face.

"I'm here." Grantaire smiled down at his love.

Enjolras tried to sit up, but he flinched from the pain in his side.

"Stay still. The wound from Montparnasse's sword is still healing." Grantaire told him. "You're going to be fine, but you have to take it easy."

Enjolras laid back down. "I don't understand. How are you here?" Enjolras asked him.

Grantaire sighed. "I got this feeling in my heart that the man I love needed me a few days after I left the ship. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I found a boat and sailed in the direction that my heart led me. I arrived back on the ship a few hours after the deep sleep set in. I haven't left your side since."

"How long have I been asleep?" Enjolras asked.

"About two weeks." Grantaire replied.

Enjolras nodded before he squeezed Grantaire's hand. "I don't believe that you’re here. Grantaire, I'm sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you. I was terrified of what I was feeling for you, but I'm not afraid anymore. I love you. I love you, so much. I can understand if you hate me, but please don't leave again. My heart couldn't take it." Enjolras' eyes welled up with tears and it broke Grantaire's heart.

"Love, shh. It's okay. Don't work yourself into hysterics. I'm not leaving again. And I forgive you for all of it. I realize that I should have been more considerate of how you were feeling. The only other person who you have ever loved is dead and that can't be easy to just get past. I'm sorry that I put so much pressure on you to get over Thierry." Grantaire apologized.

"It's okay. I forgive you. As long as we know that were both in the wrong and are both at fault for what happened, we have a chance to fix this and start a new life together." Enjolras smiled.

Grantaire nodded, "I like the sound of that. Just say it one more time."

"I love you." Enjolras told him.

"I love you, too. Always have and I always will." Grantaire told him, leaning forward to capture Enjolras' lips with his as their tears melded together.

They were still kissing when Joly came down to check on Enjolras. They pulled away from each other when Joly cleared his throat.

"Well, I see our patient is awake." Joly said.

Enjolras smiled at him. "Looks like it."

"Do you think you could try to eat something?" Joly asked and Enjolras nodded. Joly turned back up to the steps to get him something to eat.

They returned to their kissing until Joly came back with a tray of fish, cheese, and bread.

"Just take small bites of only what you can." Joly said, placing the tray down. "Grantaire, want to help me sit him up."

Grantaire did as he was asked. When Enjolras was sitting up, Joly placed the tray on his lap. Enjolras took a few bites.

"So, while you're eating, I'm going to tell you a few things. You're going to need to stay in bed until the wound is completely healed." Joly said. He could see Enjolras begin to protest, "You don't have to worry about the ship. Combeferre has everything under control until you are ready to have it back."

"Plus, you know that this ship works like a well-oiled machine anyway, so you have nothing to worry about." Grantaire told him.

"I will have you move around the room a little bit though for the sake of the muscles in your legs." Joly said.

Enjolras nodded as he ate a small bite of fish.

"I'll be back to check on you later. Grantaire, keep him from doing anything stupid." Joly told him.

"I'll do my best. Now, shoo." Grantaire waved his hand, so that Joly would leave.

Enjolras finished eating what he could. Grantaire took the tray away and placed it on the table. Enjolras then moved the covers of the bed, signaling for Grantaire to get in next to him. He pulled Enjolras to him as gently as he could. He placed a kiss on Enjolras' forehead.

"I love you." Enjolras said.

Grantaire smiled down at him before pressing their lips together. "I know, my love." He said when he pulled away.

Enjolras smiled before snuggling up to his Grantaire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters, plus the epilogue left, so I'll see you all again on Monday!
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.

Another week passed, and Joly finally let Enjolras off of bed rest. His wound was completely healed. Combeferre had also handed back the position of Captain over to Enjolras.

The entire crew had also sensed the change in Enjolras and Grantaire's relationship and were extremely happy by it. The two of them were inseparable, almost like Thierry and Enjolras had been, but worse.

Joly had put a restriction on anything that had do with sex until Enjolras was completely healed, but that didn't stop Grantaire from using his hand to get him off or sucking him off.

Finally, when Enjolras was completely healed and Joly gave him the go ahead from strenuous activity, Enjolras pulled Grantaire into the Captain's quarters and pulled him into a kiss. A very hard kiss. Both of them had been desperate to do more than what they had already done.

Grantaire opened his mouth to accept Enjolras' tongue as he wrapped his arms around his lover, but when Enjolras went to pull his shirt from his body, Grantaire pulled away.

"Love, we can't." Grantaire protested.

"Yes, we can. Joly gave me the go ahead. So, Grantaire, will you please have sex with me? I want you, so badly that it's killing me." Enjolras told him as he pressed a kiss to Grantaire's neck before sucking at it causing his lover to moan.

Grantaire nodded, "Yes, my love."

Enjolras away from his neck to pull Grantaire's lips to him. Grantaire lifted him up and Enjolras wrapped his legs around his waist. Grantaire pressed him against the wall before lifting his shirt up and pulling it off of him. Grantaire ran his hands over Enjolras' chest as they kissed. Grantaire ran his hands over Enjolras' nipples causing his lover to moan.

"Oh, fuck." He moaned as Grantaire's tongue started running over his chest.

Enjolras' hands found Grantaire's shirt, pulling it off of him. Grantaire pulled him of the wall and walked toward the bed. They fell on the bed with a loud thump. Enjolras laugh as did Grantaire, but the laughing did not last long because Grantaire started to grind their clothed cocks together.

"Yes!" Enjolras groaned. Grantaire kissed down his neck before he started sucking a bruise to the side of it. A hot static friction grew between them as Grantaire continued his movements. "Enough already. Please, just fuck me."

"Your wish is my command." Grantaire as he reached for the button of Enjolras' leather pants and pulled them down. Enjolras' cock was hard, red and angry. Grantaire couldn't stop himself from wrapping his mouth around it.

Enjolras' fingers found their way into Grantaire's hair as his lover sucked his cock. Enjolras' hips thrusted forward, but Grantaire held them down.

"Yes, 'Taire." Enjolras cried. His lover hollowed out his cheeks as he sucked. His tongue moved along the shaft before playing and sucking at the tip. "Fuck!"

Grantaire sucked his lover's cock until there was cum entering his mouth. Enjolras was breathing heavily as his orgasm hit. Afterward, Grantaire moved up to kiss Enjolras, allowing his lover to taste himself on his tongue.

When they pulled away, Enjolras looked up at him. "I thought I asked you to fuck me. I want you inside of me."

"Who said I was done?" Grantaire smiled, wickedly. He waited a few minutes to let Enjolras catch his breath before he continued to kiss him in order to arouse him again. When his lover's cock was hard again, he got off the bed to grab the bottle of oil from the shelf and removed his pants before he climbed back on the bed. He opened it up and poured oil over his fingers. Grantaire nudged his love's legs open and Enjolras opened them to reveal his entrance to Grantaire.

Grantaire settled in between his legs before he pushed a finger inside of Enjolras, who threw his head back as his lover's finger was pushed against his tight muscle. Grantaire kissed his lover's neck as he moved the finger around. He loved the feeling of his lover, writhing underneath him. He smiled before pushing another finger into Enjolras.

"Fuck, 'Taire. God, I love you." Enjolras sigh as Grantaire scissored his fingers inside of him.

Grantaire hovered over him as he smiled down at his lover. He moved a strand of hair from his lover's face before leaning down to kiss him. As they kissed, Grantaire entered a third finger.

Enjolras moaned into Grantaire's mouth. "Please, enough with torture, I want to feel you."

"And you will, but I don't want to hurt you, my love. I need you to be all stretched and prepared for me, so I can fuck you so good, you can't walk normal for weeks." Grantaire whispered to Enjolras.

Enjolras shook his head before he grabbed Grantaire's arm and flipped them. He pulled Grantaire's fingers from inside him. "I am used to getting what I want when it comes to sex, and right now, I want your gorgeous cock inside of me. So, enough with the fingers." Pinning Grantaire's hands to the pillows.

"You're a terror, aren't you?" Grantaire told him.

"No, I just like getting fucked by the man that I love." Enjolras told him as he straddled his waist.

Enjolras' took hold of Grantaire's cock and held it as he sank down onto it.

"Fuck!" Grantaire said as his cock was wrapped around his lover's muscle.

Enjolras planted his hands on Grantaire's chest before he lifted off. He moaned as he sunk back down.

"God, I love your cock. It's so wonderful." Enjolras said as he found a pace that worked. He waited until a certain amount of time passed before he nodded to give Grantaire the go ahead to move with him.

When Enjolras came down, Grantaire thrusted up causing Enjolras to let out a moan so loud there was no doubt the others on the ship heard it.

Grantaire eventually sat up, still inside of Enjolras. He wrapped his arms around his waist as he pressed his lips to Enjolras' in a passionate kiss. They poured all the love they had for each other into the kiss. When they pulled away, Enjolras' pressed his forehead against Grantaire's as he whispered into the air between them. "I love you."

"I love you, too." And with that, Grantaire flipped them. Enjolras smiled as he wrapped his legs around Grantaire's waist. Grantaire started moving fast and hard.

The only sounds in the room was Enjolras' moans and Grantaire's grunts. Grantaire's thrusts were so fast and rough that he could hear items on the table next to the bed, fall to the ground.

"Yes, oh my God, yes. Grantaire! Fuck!" Enjolras sighed as his finger nails dug into Grantaire's shoulders.

The both of them were slick with sweat. Their hair was soaking wet and their bodies glistened in the candlelight. Enjolras could feel heat start to pour into his belly. He grabbed one of Grantaire's hands and placed it over his cock. Grantaire's hand moved in time with his thrusts.

"Oh, God! Fuck!" Enjolras moaned as his eyes slipped shut. Grantaire absolutely loved how vocal his lover was during sex.

"Come on, love. Let me hear you!" Grantaire told him as he continued to fuck him.

"Yes, yes! Fuck! You feel so good! Deeper!" Enjolras moaned. Grantaire changed his pace to be as deep inside Enjolras as he could possibly be. "I can feel it! It's coming!"

"Then, come, my love." Grantaire said as he kissed his lover.

It was only a few more thrusts before they both reached their releases. Enjolras' cum started to dribble all over their bodies and Grantaire was releasing his inside of Enjolras. Grantaire kept moving slowly to help reach the end of their orgasms before he collapsed on top of Enjolras, still inside of him.

"Fuck, I love you." Enjolras told him as he moved Grantaire's sweat slicked hair from his forehead.

"I love you, too." Grantaire said, pressing his lips against Enjolras' in a deep kiss.

Enjolras licked his lips when they pulled away. "Is it always going to be like that?"

"Yes, because I'm always going to make it like that." Grantaire smiled at him.

Enjolras returned the smiled. Grantaire pulled out and rolled over next to him. They laid there in silence until Enjolras leaned his head against his elbow, facing Grantaire. His free hand drew shapes on Grantaire's chest.

"So, how does it feel being my lover?" Enjolras asked.

"Wonderful." Grantaire said.

"Do you want to know what special privileges you get being my lover?" Grantaire nodded. Enjolras continued to run his fingers over Grantaire's chest. He saw that his skin was covered in goosebumps. Enjolras continued. "Well, it means that you get bumped up to the second most important person on this ship. If the ship is ever attacked, you're the person the crew immediately goes in to protect." Enjolras told him.

"Why? I thought the crew's job was to protect the Captain." Grantaire said.

"The Captain can take of himself. Our friends protect you because you're the person that the enemy would go for first, in order to make me vulnerable." Enjolras explained. "As the man I love, you're my greatest strength, but also my greatest weakness. Following Thierry's death, it was decided upon that if I were to ever take another lover, and the ship was attacked, our friends would surround you and get you to the safest part of the ship as soon as possible."

"But what if I wanted to protect you?" Grantaire said. He saw that Enjolras wanted to protest. "You don't think the same applies to me if something were to happen to you?"

"I know, 'Taire, I know, but-" Enjolras said.

"No, there is no buts, if the ship ever gets attacked, I stay by your side." Grantaire told him.

"Grantaire, you have to understand that if I lost you, I couldn't live. I wouldn't want to." Enjolras told him, sitting up fully.

Grantaire sat up, too. "Yeah, and I wouldn't be able to handle watching from the sidelines as you fight for your life."

"You're so stubborn."

"So are you."

Enjolras laid back down, pulled Grantaire with him, as they kissed. "You want to know what else it entails."

"Yes, I do."

"Well, whenever we are on land, you get to be possessive of me in order to make sure that everyone knows that I'm yours, but you also have to understand that I am my own person and you can't be hovering over me the entire time. I want you to have fun, too." Enjolras said. Grantaire nodded in understanding. "Then, you also get the right of telling when I'm making a dumb decision. You also get to make demands of the crew. Yes, they are our friends, but they are also the crew. So, when they have to work, they work." Grantaire nodded again.

"Anything else?" Grantaire asked.

Enjolras nodded. "Just the most important one." He rolled them over to straddle Grantaire's waist. "You get to kiss me whenever you want." A kiss to Grantaire's collarbone. "Tell me you love me whenever you want." A kiss to Grantaire's jaw. "You get to have sex with me whenever you want. And I mean, whenever you want." Enjolras said in a seductive voice before dropping an open mouthed kiss to Grantaire's mouth. "However, when I say whenever you want, it has be in here. Anywhere in here. Against the door. The wall. In a chair. On the desk. Anywhere. I can almost guarantee, I won't protest. And last, but not least, you get to move into the Captain's quarters."

"What?" Grantaire asked.

"You get to move down here with me. My authority is shared with you, so that means you get to come and live down here with me." Enjolras said.

"But why?

"Didn't I just explain why? You've my lover now, not simply a member of the crew. You don't have to sleep on the cot. Unless, you don't want to move your things down here." Enjolras said with a raised eyebrow.

Grantaire sighed, "It's not that. It's just…"

"Just what?" Enjolras asked.

Grantaire looked at him and knew the next words out of his mouth were going to hurt Enjolras. "It's just…this was your space with Thierry."

Enjolras looked at him, hurt evident in his eyes. He moved off of Grantaire and from the bed to find his shirt and pants. "You have got to be kidding me." He said as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"No, I'm not." Grantaire said.

"When are you going to understand that Thierry came before you?" Enjolras asked with his arms crossed.

Grantaire crawled off the bed to find his own clothing. "I do, but you have to understand where I'm coming from because I will always going to be compared to him."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Enjolras asked.

"It means that you're always going to compare me to him. Do I kiss you better than him? Do I hug you the right way because he hugged you differently? Do I satisfy you when I'm fucking you because Thierry used to fuck you so well that nothing ever compared? And last, but not least, do I love you more than what he did?" Grantaire told him.

"Grantaire, the love I have with you is completely different than the love I had with Thierry. There is no need to compare the two of you because you are two totally different people, who I love for totally different reasons. The way I love you is not the same way I love Thierry. Same goes for you. The way you love me is not the same way Thierry loved me." Enjolras explained.

"Yeah, but which one of us do you love more?"

Enjolras glared at him. "You have no right to ask me that. I love you, Grantaire. You. Isn't that love enough? Why does Thierry have to matter anymore?"

"Because you're always going to love him more than you love me." Grantaire replied.

Enjolras glare grew even colder. "Go." He commanded pointing to the door.

"What? Enjolras?" Grantaire asked, confused.

"Go. I want to be by myself tonight, so go." Enjolras said, refusing to look at Grantaire.

Grantaire looked at him before he walked over to the door, stepped out, and went back to the crew room.

Enjolras held back the tears in his eyes until the door was shut. The tears flowed freely after that and didn't stop until well after he was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.

The next morning when Enjolras went to eat breakfast, everyone else had already eaten. He spotted Grantaire, working with Joly and Jehan, but didn't go near him. When he walked into the galley, Combeferre was following him. He picked up the plate of food and sat down to eat.

"Okay, what happened now between you two?" Combeferre asked.

Enjolras was cutting up his fish when Combeferre asked the question. He didn't look at his friend as he said. "Nothing happened."

"Oh, really. Since you woke up from your sleep, you two have been inseparable. Not to mention from the sounds that were coming from that room last night, the sex was magnificent. But this morning, you two are barely even sparing a glance at each other. That's not normal behavior between lovers, especially after a night of passionate and fabulous sex." Combeferre explained.

Enjolras sighed. "Fine. We got into a fight."

"About?" Combeferre asked.

"Thierry." Enjolras told him before diving into what happened. "Long story short, he believed that I love Thierry more than I love him."

"Do you?" Combeferre asked.

Enjolras looked at his friend in disbelief. "Of course not. I will always love Thierry and a small piece of my heart will always be his, but the rest of my heart is Grantaire's. Every part of me screams for Grantaire. I love him, so much. That just being away from him right now is killing me."

Combeferre nodded. "So, why didn't you tell him that?"

"I tried, but he wouldn't listen to me. Not to mention I was so angry that I knew the best thing would be to calm down and talk about it afterward." Enjolras told him.

"I see. Well, you're right about the calming down thing, but you need to talk to him, Enj. Grantaire may seem confident about everything else in his relationship with you, but Thierry. Thierry will always be a place of insecurity for him." Combeferre explained.

Enjolras nodded. "I know that, but-"

"There is no but. Even if you don't compare him to Thierry, he will always compare himself. And that comes from the place of how long it took for you two to be where you are. Just talk to him."

Enjolras nodded, and then an idea struck him. "I know what to do."

***

Elsewhere as they cleaned the weapons of the ship, Joly and Bossuet were trying to get Grantaire to explain what was up. Grantaire eventually gave in and told them about what happened the night before.

When he was done, Joly looked at him with a look of disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am. Why wouldn't I be? He'll always love Thierry more than he loved me. I don't like it, but I'm going to have to live with it." Grantaire told him.

"I have a hard time believing that to be true because when Montparnasse attacked the ship and Enjolras got stabbed, it wasn't his taunting about Thierry that got Enjolras as angry as he was. It was his taunting about you." Bossuet told him.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Look, Grantaire, I know that it's difficult knowing that a part of Enjolras' heart will always be Thierry's, but that's something that you can't change." Bossuet said.

Joly nodded in agreement. "You can't ask Enjolras to forget about him. Thierry will always be a very important part of Enjolras' life, but my point is, Enjolras loves you, now. You're the one that he's kissing, holding, and making love to, not Thierry. Whenever you walk into the area where Enjolras is, his face immediately lights up and he smiles because his day just got better because he has seen you. Enjolras isn't living in the past anymore, he's living in the moment with you. Why can't you do the same?" Joly asked.

Grantaire thought about it for a few minutes before sighing and getting back to work. His friends a point. Thierry was Enjolras' past, Grantaire was here now and would be for however long Enjolras wanted him. Why couldn't he just be happy in the moment with Enjolras? Grantaire didn't have the answer, but wanted to find it.

Once he was done with his chores, Grantaire went to find Enjolras, so they could talk about what happened the night before, but he was nowhere to find. Granted, they were docked in port for the night, so Enjolras could already be on land.

Grantaire went down to his cot to grab a few things before he made his way off the ship and toward the tavern where Bahorel, Éponine, and Musichetta already were, he was surprised to only see them.

"Where's everyone else?" Grantaire asked.

The other three all exchanged a glance.

"Oh, they'll be along." Musichetta said.

Grantaire nodded before ordering himself a pint and tried to enjoy himself, but that was difficult because all he wanted to do was talk to Enjolras.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think Enjolras' surprise is? Come back on Wednesday to find out the surprise in the last chapter and the epilogue.
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames, though, please.


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.

As the night wore on more of the crew started making their way into the tavern, but there was still no sign of Enjolras. Grantaire sat at one of the tables close to the door, waiting for him, so they could talk.

When Combeferre came in, Grantaire grabbed his arm and asked, "Where's Enjolras?"

"Oh, he'll be along shortly." Combeferre said before he went to join the others in a game of loaded dice.

It was another half an hour before the man he wanted to see graced them with his presence. Grantaire stood up and walked over to him.

"We need to talk." Grantaire told him.

"Yes, we do. Let's go somewhere more private." Enjolras said, taking Grantaire's hand and leading him back toward the ship.

When they walked on the ship, Grantaire stopped walking. "Okay, we're on the ship. Can we talk now?"

"Not quite." Enjolras said as he led them toward the door of the Captain's quarters.

"Love, we really need to talk." Grantaire said.

Enjolras turned to look at him. "I know, we do, but first, I need to show you something." He stopped at the door of the Captain's quarters. "Okay, close your eyes."

Grantaire did as he was asked and when Enjolras made sure that he wasn't peaking, he turned and opened the door before taking his lover's hands in his and walking him inside. Grantaire felt Enjolras come up behind him and place his hands on his waist.

"Okay, open them." Enjolras commanded, gently.

When Grantaire opened his eyes, he saw that the Captain's quarters had been completely rearranged and everything was different. The color of the bedding had changed from red to blue. There were new pictures on the wall. There was a new desk with a desk chair that had blue cushions on it. There was a love seat in there instead of the couch. The dressers had all been changed from pine wood to oak. The basin had changed. There were now curtains over the windows.

"What? I don't understand." Grantaire said, turning to face Enjolras.

Enjolras took a deep breath before grabbing his lover's hands. "Last night, you said that you couldn’t move down here with me because you could still feel Thierry's presence inside of the room, and because of that it still felt like mine and Thierry's instead of yours and mine. So, I figured that the best way to make it feel like ours was to give it an entire new look."

"You didn't have to do this." Grantaire told him.

Enjolras nodded. "Yes, I did. I'm supposed to be having a new beginning with you, but I can't have that if the place where my lover and I are supposed to be sleeping still feels like the past."

"No, I mean, you really didn't have to do this." Grantaire said.

"What do you mean?"

Grantaire led Enjolras over to the love seat, which was incredibly soft, and took his hands in his. "Love, I'm sorry for last night. Everything that I said came out wrong. I just…I don't know how to say this." He sighed. Grantaire looked at Enjolras, and took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that it's really hard for me to accept that I don't have your whole heart." Enjolras sighed. "I know that you'll love always Thierry, I know that. And I know that I can't ask you to forget him because that would be selfish of me to do. It's just…"

"You don't want to go through believing you are always being compared to him." Enjolras said to which Grantaire nodded. "Grantaire, I can promise you that the only time I've ever compared you to Thierry was when you first stepped on the ship. I thought that you were Thierry because of the uncanny resemblance you have to him. But that resemblance isn't what made me fall in love with you, Grantaire, I just want to make that clear. It was you just being you that made me fall in love with you. The way you are with our friends, especially now that you don’t hide from them. Your drawings. The way you dance. I fell in love with you for you, not because you looked like Thierry." Enjolras told him. "Other than that one time, I've never compared you to Thierry at all. You two are total different people and I wouldn't have it any other way." Enjolras squeezed Grantaire's hand. "And you're right, you can't ask me to forget him because I'm not going to. He will always be a part of my life. Not just because his name is tattooed on my wrist, but also because he's a big part of why I am the way that I am. I will always love Thierry, you can't ask me not to."

"I know that, and I'm not going to. I guess, what it ultimately comes down is that I feel like I'll always have to worry about Thierry because of how long it took us to get here. Your denial of your feelings for me because you were still holding onto him. It's ridiculous, I know." Grantaire brushed off.

"No, Grantaire, it's not ridiculous. I put you through a lot of pain during that time and I know that I will never be able to fully make it up to you, but I promise you that I've let go of Thierry and that part of my life. I want to start fresh, and part of that, comes from being with you. There's nobody else in this entire world that I want more than you." Enjolras assured.

Grantaire looked Enjolras in the eyes and saw honest sincerity in them that he knew that Enjolras was being truthful. He nodded.

Enjolras leaned forward to press their foreheads together. "I want to live in the present with you because I don't know what's going to happen. I don't want to worry about the future. The only thing that I do know is that Thierry is my past, but you, Grantaire, are very much now. I love you, so much, my love."

"I love you, too." He leaned in to kiss his lover, but then pulled away. "I want to live in the now with you, too. And right now, I want to make love to you. I don't want it to be rough or hard or fast. I want to do this soft, slow, and tenderly." Grantaire said.

Enjolras smiled. "We can do that."

Grantaire smiled back. He kissed Enjolras. Enjolras wrapped his arms around Grantaire's neck. Grantaire wrapped his arms around his waist. He pulled away from Enjolras, and stood up, so that he could carry Enjolras to the bed. Grantaire set his lover down on the bed and crawled over him. He felt a slight difference in the feeling of the mattress.

"Is this a new mattress?" Grantaire asked.

Enjolras nodded. "I wanted to change the whole room, so I changed the mattress as well. Hopefully, now, you will consider coming to live down here with me."

"I don't need to consider it because I've already made my decision." Grantaire said. Enjolras raised an eyebrow. "I want to spend my mornings where you are the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see before I fall asleep."

"So, is that a yes?" Enjolras asked.

"Yes, my love, that's a yes. I will move down here with you." Grantaire said.

Enjolras pulled Grantaire down to kiss him. They made out on the bed as their hands roamed each other's bodies underneath their clothes. Enjolras pulled Grantaire's shirt from his body and placed his hand over his heart before leaning up to press a kiss to it. He looked up at Grantaire and saw nothing, but love in his eyes. It sent a shiver down his spine.

Grantaire helped removed Enjolras' shirt from his body before kissing down his chest. Enjolras let out a moan causing Grantaire to smile against his chest. Grantaire's hands found the buttons of Enjolras' pants and unbuttoned them before pulling them down. He will forever be grateful to the fact that Enjolras didn't wear anything underneath them. He removed them fully before he wrapped his hand around Enjolras' cock to stroke it. Grantaire eventually took it into his mouth and started to suck.

Enjolras let out a delicious moan as his cock was wrapped around Grantaire's warm mouth. His eyes slipped shut and his hands found their way into Grantaire's hair. Grantaire moved his mouth all the way down to the base. He hallowed out his cheeks as he sucked.

"Fuck! Grantaire! Your mouth!" Enjolras moaned out as his fingers pulled on Grantaire's curls. Grantaire hummed causing a shiver to run through Enjolras' body. Grantaire's tongue moved around his cock. It ran over the shaft and the slit. "Grantaire! I need you! Please."

Grantaire pulled off of his lover's cock to look up at Enjolras, who was looking at him with black eyes filled with desire. Grantaire leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips before grabbing the bottle of oil from the bedside table. He used the oil to open up his lover using one finger, then two, and finally three. Enjolras was keening underneath him and clutching the sheets as he fingered him open.

"God! Yes! 'Taire! Inside! Please, get inside of me." Enjolras begged with his eyes closed as Grantaire's fingers brushed his prostate.

"Yes, love." Grantaire told him as he kissed him and pulled out his fingers. Enjolras whimpered at the loss. Grantaire rubbed oil over his cock before lining up with Enjolras' entrance. He slowly pushed inside of Enjolras. He watched the way Enjolras' face changed as he pushed inside, inch by inch. Enjolras' head moved to an angle that would allow Grantaire to kiss it, gently.

"Fuck, love. You feel so good." Enjolras moaned into Grantaire's ear as he slid back inside him. The sliding of Grantaire's cock, in and out of his body, was slow, but it was smooth. Enjolras could feel as it stretched his hole, continuously. Sex had never felt like this before. Granted, whenever he had sex before it was frantic. All about the need to be one with either Thierry or Grantaire. It was incredibly quick, hard, and rough. There was just something about this that was so much better. Maybe it was that he could feel Grantaire's love for him as he moved. It felt so amazing.

Grantaire changed to a medium pace. It wasn't slow, but it wasn't fast either. It was somewhere in the middle, but it still felt amazing.

"God, love. Just stay like this. It feels so incredible." Enjolras said. Grantaire nodded before leaning down to kiss Enjolras.

They stayed at that pace until Enjolras was begging Grantaire to touch him, so that he could reached his release, and then Grantaire picked it up a little bit more. He was thrusting his hips in time with the pumps of his hand. They both eventually came at the same time, and as they came down from the high, their breathing was heavy. Grantaire pulled out of Enjolras, and rolled onto the side.

Enjolras cuddled into him. He pressed a kiss to his chest. He felt Grantaire press a kiss in return to the top of his head. They didn't say anything. They just basked in their love for each other, and the afterglow of making love. They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms and the sound of the sea waves hitting the hull of the ship.


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the epilogue!
> 
> The quote at the beginning is where the title came from.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos, commented, bookmarked, and subscribed to this fic!

_~ When we met, I wasn't just unloved and unloving. I was an enemy of love. Love had only brought me pain. My walls were up, but you broke them down. You brought me home. ~_ Rumpelstiltskin, _Once Upon a Time_

Many months later, Enjolras woke up to the sun on his face and the feeling of Grantaire's lips on his neck. He smiled in contentment.

"Good morning, my darling." Grantaire said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Enjolras rolled over and gave the same greeting, but this time with a kiss on the lips. He pulled away and laid back down on the pillows. Enjolras pulled his arms up from under the covers, catching a glimpse of his tattoo as he did so. He then remembered what day it was.

It was Thierry's birthday.

He felt his mood immediately dampen and Grantaire noticed.

"Love, what is it?" Grantaire said, taking his hand.

Enjolras shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Yes, it is, love. Now, talk to me." Grantaire said.

"Fine. It's Thierry's birthday, today." Enjolras explained. He saw Grantaire, nod in understanding. "And it's a bit of a Remembrance Day for our friends and me. We tell stories about him and Joly plays his favorite songs on his piccolo. Then, when the sun goes down, we all light a paper lantern and watch them fly up into the sky. It's all very simple." Enjolras explained. "Now, I know, how you feel about him, love, I do, but this day means a lot to the crew." Enjolras said. "…and to me. And we didn't celebrate it last year."

"Why didn't you celebrate it last year?" Grantaire asked.

"Because we felt that it was best to wait until after you knew about him to celebrate it." Enjolras answered. He sat up. "Like I said, I know how you feel about him, but…"

"But nothing, love. I understand." Grantaire told him, taking his hand in his. "I've told you that I don't want you or the crew to forget about him. I've accepted that he will remain a part of the history of the ship and important to you. Everything that happened in the last year is in the past. I know that you love him and that a piece of you will always love him. I'm okay with it."

"Thank you, but if any part of this day makes you uncomfortable, will you tell me?" Enjolras asked.

"Of course." Grantaire kissed him.

They got dressed and went up for breakfast. Their friends were already there.

"Hey, Enj, are we celebrating it, today?" Courfeyrac asked.

Enjolras rolled his eyes. "You don't need to say it like that, Courf. Grantaire knows the significance of this day. And yes, we're celebrating it."

Éponine's eyes found Grantaire. "And you're okay with this?"

Grantaire glared at her as he wrapped an arm around Enjolras. "Yes, this day means a lot to Enjolras, and clearly to a lot of you. I've made my peace with the fact that a piece of my Enjolras' heart will always remain Thierry's. Plus, I don't want any of you, or Enjolras, to forget about him. So, yes, we are celebrating this day every year." Grantaire told them, then he pressed a kiss to Enjolras' temple.

***

As the day went on, Grantaire heard more stories about Thierry, and some about Thierry and Enjolras, than he had in all of the time he had been on the ship. He knew that almost all of them were worried that just the simple mention of Thierry would cause him to have a meltdown, but the truth was, he didn't care anymore. He knew where he and Enjolras stood and he was happy with it. As long as he had Enjolras, he was the happiest man alive.

When the time came, Jehan and Joly went to go get the paper lanterns from their hiding spot. They handed one out to each of them. Enjolras, obviously, received the most decorative one because of his relationship with Thierry.

"We all know what the rule is. Enjolras will light his first and lets it go first. When his enters a certain spot in the sky, we start lighting ours, one by one. Then, as we release them, we all say one thing that we will always remember about Thierry." Jehan explained. The group nodded.

Grantaire stood next to Enjolras as he lit up his. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" Enjolras asked, holding on to his lantern.

"Yes, I'm fine." Grantaire assured.

"Okay." Enjolras said before closing his eyes and thought about what he was going to say. He opened them and released the lantern. "What I will always remember about Thierry is that he was my first love. For as long as I live, he will be a special part of my life. I will always love you, Thierry."

Enjolras turned back to Grantaire, who wrapped an arm around him. He kissed his forehead. Enjolras rested his hand on Grantaire's chest as they watched the crew light up their lanterns, release them, and say something that they would always remember about Thierry.

The only one who seemed to notice the shooting star was Enjolras, and he knew deep in his heart, that it was Thierry, finally going to Heaven.

"Goodbye, Thierry." He whispered under his breath. Grantaire hadn't heard him for he was too caught up in the spectacle of the lanterns. Enjolras finally got his attention. They smiled at each other before kissing each other, deeply.

***

Off to the side of the ship, Thierry watched the scene with a smile on his face. After so many years of unhappiness, his Enjolras was finally happy. He heard Enjolras say his goodbye.

"Goodbye, my love. Be happy." He said before he disappeared.

Finally able to follow the light into Heaven.

***

Once the lanterns were no longer able to seen, Enjolras took Grantaire's hand and they walked up to the wheel.

"Where shall we sail to, my darling?" Enjolras asked.

"How am I supposed to know? You don't have a compass. What kind of sailor doesn't have a compass?" Grantaire answered the question with another question.

"I don't need one for this sailor's compass is standing right in front of him." Enjolras said.

Grantaire felt the tears prickle in his eyes. "I love you, so fucking much." He took Enjolras into his arms and kissed him deeply.

"Hey, lovebirds, you can do that, and then, escape to the Captain's quarters for a night of passion, once you've sailed us in the direction of south west!" Combeferre called.

They laughed as they pulled away from each other.

"Do you want to do the honors of sailing in the direction of due south west?" Enjolras asked, moving away from the wheel.

Grantaire didn't hesitate. He stepped up to the wheel and took the handles. He felt Enjolras come up behind him and wrap his arms around his waist as he explained to him how to sail the ship in the direction it needed to go, all while kissing and nipping at Grantaire's neck.

Both of them had never felt happier in their whole lives as they stood in each other’s arms as the ship sailed on with the bustle of the crew surrounding them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again, and I hope everyone enjoyed this story!
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome. In fact, they are encouraged! :) No flames though, please.
> 
> Blog: thechiefandhiscynic.blogspot.com.  
> Tumblr: ilovemybarricadebabies


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